The thing about being unemployed is...

... Beyond feeling like a complete failure at life and a hobo, you have waaaaay too much free time on your hands. I'm the type of person who does not manage idle time well, at all. My mind wanders, I get distracted by cool stuff, etc. Basically, I want to do things when I feel like doing them AND get paid for it. But, that shit is not conducive to any kind of productivity.

I expressed this to my mom the other day, and she blurts out, "it's not too late to become a criminal. Criminals don't have schedules. Remember when you used to steal quarters out of my purse?" Geez, I can't believe that she's still bitter about a few quarters. Let it go, mom, let it go!

This morning, I spent 20 minutes trying to telepathically will an empty toilet paper tube into the garbage. I'm pretty sure that I saw it move, just a smidge. Either I have burgeoning telepathic powers or that ant that I lost sight of was trapped underneath the tube, fighting for its life.

You know what would be awesome?! If I just showed up at my old job, dressed as the one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and just started chatting people up and firing off imaginary emails. I wonder how long it would take for someone to say something to the weird Ninja Turtle loitering in the break room, sipping coffee while smoking a cigar and a cigarette at the same time?



The people at my old job are pretty much non-confrontational hippy types, so, they probably wouldn't do anything until I left for lunch.

Kiss me, I'm unemployed!

So, yeah.. As of last Thursday, I've joined the ranks of the unemployed. It's a weird feeling to have all of this free time. The truth of it is that, subconsciously, I've been wanting this to happen for months. And, well, it did. Yippee, I guess!

Now, I actually have to follow through on my threat to leave Las Vegas, the city that I hate with the heat of a thousand habanero peppers.

Truth be told, I do feel quite liberated, so, it's not all bad. It wasn't the job that was the problem, it was a whole host of other things. Even though they kicked my ass to the curb, they are still an awesome company.

When my manager came around and asked if we could have a 'lil chat, I didn't think anything of it. As we were walking down the hallway of doom, she started randomly talking about Jaime Foxx.. then, she began to hum the refrain from "Blame it on the alcohol." I knew I was screwed.

It's all good, though. I figure I'll be a bum for a couple of weeks, maybe longer, then figure out where I actually want to move to. Will it be Los Angeles or Seattle? I really feel like I can move anywhere that I want. Frankly, that is an awesome feeling!