tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184870602024-02-18T22:06:58.363-08:00Ramblings of an Off Child!What have you heard?XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-49285247970295558142011-06-14T21:12:00.000-07:002011-07-12T15:57:33.486-07:00If I Had An 80s Rock Tribute Band...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYcDCofMkMohOOcuayM3i1qUIAauLzjUiYyshfuINHbh6JyPJfytIc6VdYDbkLJQfAUbTgjlMrXmazTrOdbeqs3YmAbjdKYdj5uxxQjhO0HhRJzguvJmNGDILrA4Eb7qqbePOc/s1600/panhandler.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 250px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYcDCofMkMohOOcuayM3i1qUIAauLzjUiYyshfuINHbh6JyPJfytIc6VdYDbkLJQfAUbTgjlMrXmazTrOdbeqs3YmAbjdKYdj5uxxQjhO0HhRJzguvJmNGDILrA4Eb7qqbePOc/s400/panhandler.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628600760002088930" /></a><br />we'd be called The Belligerent Bums. Our shows would be EPIC! <br /><br />In the middle of warbling through the greatest hits of Whitesnake, Winger, Warrant, and other 80s rock bands whose names start with W, we'd, abruptly, stop, swan dive into the audience, and start panhandling. <br /><br />If people didn't give us money, we'd start punching them in the neck, until they did. If they started to cry from all of the neck punching, we'd be all, "Hey, 'belligerent' is right there in our name, dude! What did you expect?"<br /><br />Then, we'd all leave before the cops arrived. <br /><br />Moral of this story? Cops are definitely Debbie Downers.XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-49574716818522099092011-04-04T19:19:00.000-07:002011-04-05T07:09:03.927-07:00Random Nonsensical Ramblings... Bad Juju<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgic3A0LDO6WI6xLBIP-IUtzMIcjrcHFWzFAPsyvCi3e76n6D0pf5g1aebMMB-S1bThfQ1XzD4RXQVu4expX9ZLlJOQ-q3jvLERisK46YI-yGZRr4axAcf37RYDqd1iTTnR8kOf/s1600/douchebag.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 293px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgic3A0LDO6WI6xLBIP-IUtzMIcjrcHFWzFAPsyvCi3e76n6D0pf5g1aebMMB-S1bThfQ1XzD4RXQVu4expX9ZLlJOQ-q3jvLERisK46YI-yGZRr4axAcf37RYDqd1iTTnR8kOf/s400/douchebag.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5591922031184882930" /></a><br />I had a co-worker who would constantly use the the phrase, "bad juju" to describe a bad situation. I'd be all, "Dude, why are you late?" He'd be all, "Dude, I missed my bus. Bad juju!"<br /><br />I would call him an anti-semitic, stuttering bastard. Then, we'd laugh and laugh and laugh... because, we were douchebags!XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-83150572144062336822011-03-25T15:28:00.001-07:002011-03-27T15:34:13.098-07:00America's Next Top Model - Cycle 16 (Episode 05 / Rachel Zoe)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd-RYQt1nVhCfblpssOPvuKr9yNMdRYDY5akLT9eFSTrt-9gJjBGK_F0D67pOZVL8GwwXaxkhCPygUgiwr9TsE1dis_vKVA5hTKIbeFrYzDGRSgz30PQ1HAX98g9gcTrGYNh6h/s1600/ANTM-S16E05-pic.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 241px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd-RYQt1nVhCfblpssOPvuKr9yNMdRYDY5akLT9eFSTrt-9gJjBGK_F0D67pOZVL8GwwXaxkhCPygUgiwr9TsE1dis_vKVA5hTKIbeFrYzDGRSgz30PQ1HAX98g9gcTrGYNh6h/s400/ANTM-S16E05-pic.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588148262228631106" /></a><br /><br />Previously, on America's Next Top Model, blah, blah, blah.<br /><br />The models make their way back to the crib and immediately start admiring the picture of Kasia, on the wall. See, she won best picture this week, and she feels like she totally deserved it because she worked really hard. <br /><br />To be fair, she did a great job during the stupid, "sexy coffee" commercial. So, kudos to her.<br /><br />However, she's a plus size model. So, ya know... she won't be winning.<br /><br />Meanwhile, Molly continues to complain about her horrible weave.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6l7DFLnq3V8HCvRqhic2bn0JikHytX_NdQ9z2u75fOrLFqDD9lJO0NHk7Xy-tiWJfHeDuw6VkXdJGHLvqTRtl0jeD6AaagYbUF4Q-8cWpe-uUvXuYWkUQwLm2fFr9C4qmLOUB/s1600/ANTM-S16E05-badweave.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6l7DFLnq3V8HCvRqhic2bn0JikHytX_NdQ9z2u75fOrLFqDD9lJO0NHk7Xy-tiWJfHeDuw6VkXdJGHLvqTRtl0jeD6AaagYbUF4Q-8cWpe-uUvXuYWkUQwLm2fFr9C4qmLOUB/s400/ANTM-S16E05-badweave.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588283358043001186" /></a><br /><br />She says that she's developed a rash from it and it's all itchy! Tyra promised to remove the bad weave job, at some point, and Molly says, she can't wait for this to happen.<br /><br />Listen, Molly. If you only learn one thing from this silly competition, learn this. BEAUTY IS PAIN!!<br /><br />The next morning, the models head off to some place to do something.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR4yvLm-k_AayRnBIGbvWfh1PhFCl14pkxd_UlxapBkVPtOfim7rG9ld-suZ4bImaw-BX8PI4SxCxyUB3dFQUDBwyKSUWnr2IYFk41uMY-viUmGCvdFluZa2b6JmxJYLrMFUt6/s1600/ANTM-S16E05-mrjandvincent.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR4yvLm-k_AayRnBIGbvWfh1PhFCl14pkxd_UlxapBkVPtOfim7rG9ld-suZ4bImaw-BX8PI4SxCxyUB3dFQUDBwyKSUWnr2IYFk41uMY-viUmGCvdFluZa2b6JmxJYLrMFUt6/s400/ANTM-S16E05-mrjandvincent.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588571805643744370" /></a><br /><br />When they get to this place, they encounter Mr. Jay and his buddy, world renowned celebrity makeup artist, Vincent Oquendo (Mr. Vincent, if you're nasty!)<br /><br />Mr. Jay continues to wave the "Top Model" carrot in the girls' faces, telling them that winning this competition will solidify their status as a top model and that is HUGE! <br /><br />Shut up, Mr. Jay! Stop lying to these girls! If they're lucky, they'll get some catalog work with JC Penney, Target or Fingerhut.<br /><br />Today's challenge: The models will be working on a "get the look" online video to help everyday, average cover girls take their look to the next level. Whatever that means. <br /><br />When people use phrases like "the next level", it's usually because they've become too mentally exhausted from all of the bullshit they've been shoveling.<br /><br />Mr. Vincent breaks down the rules of the challenge. The models will be split up into groups of three. One will be talent, one will write and one will direct.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3lsags7C2Ylesq2WW3oFGgbW5SewOJM_KRuSA504063o5cUOlpqn3cSnjSOWWQOXX_yvW1OcHjqAiKLIAhdP5WRABO0jyDsbx6U-8Pa4I5zy0iIiuClt4lNv_CzzOe_o-pV1V/s1600/ANTM-S16E05-team.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3lsags7C2Ylesq2WW3oFGgbW5SewOJM_KRuSA504063o5cUOlpqn3cSnjSOWWQOXX_yvW1OcHjqAiKLIAhdP5WRABO0jyDsbx6U-8Pa4I5zy0iIiuClt4lNv_CzzOe_o-pV1V/s400/ANTM-S16E05-team.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588651452413914098" /></a><br /><br />Alexandria's team consists of her as talent, Molly as writer and Monique as director. Even though she's not the director, we all know that Alexandria is going to try and run shit.<br /><br />As if on cue, Alexandria tries to take charge.<br /><br />The other teams seem to be doing just fine, but, Team Alexandria is fighting, whining and being all unproductive.<br /><br />Ten minutes left to go before they have to start shooting their commercial, and Alexandria whines that she doesn't feel like doing it, now.<br /><br />Monique, being the AWESOME director that she is, says...<br /><BLOCKQUOTE><i>Monique: Do you want a hug, should we all hug or something? Do a three way kiss? Like, what's gonna make you feel happier?</i></BLOCKQUOTE><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ1P9yBJvYG_OiQcHQj7StwIzRIGnrK49HA1Qbd1tTw3VXzk2bFKdE_uzIW6EIud1N90Sk3FwV6mYam3V5C-SWKFEnWJJ52toAxDVoCs4ElurB1ikBk-I2R8rx7HtqCxwB18u3/s1600/ANTM-S16E05-3waykiss.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ1P9yBJvYG_OiQcHQj7StwIzRIGnrK49HA1Qbd1tTw3VXzk2bFKdE_uzIW6EIud1N90Sk3FwV6mYam3V5C-SWKFEnWJJ52toAxDVoCs4ElurB1ikBk-I2R8rx7HtqCxwB18u3/s400/ANTM-S16E05-3waykiss.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588655140038853538" /></a><br />Monique's three way kiss suggestion seems to delight Molly...<br /><BLOCKQUOTE><i>Molly: Let's have an orgy.</i> </BLOCKQUOTE><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZCbbUgBLHUtI5yFkdVqog7TCfnk_Zp41U32K8xeyVy_weHg_Pevfg5akmLLUat1p_ZujxinUZwbVobIGr5xzXgXeSj7lsHNWiHIMWJRQVVH7lrSdtwox4zzCvSLd44RizL6cs/s1600/ANTM-S16E05-3wayhug.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZCbbUgBLHUtI5yFkdVqog7TCfnk_Zp41U32K8xeyVy_weHg_Pevfg5akmLLUat1p_ZujxinUZwbVobIGr5xzXgXeSj7lsHNWiHIMWJRQVVH7lrSdtwox4zzCvSLd44RizL6cs/s400/ANTM-S16E05-3wayhug.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588658599548609810" /></a><br /><br />The fact that the first thing Monique suggested, to make Alexandria "happier", was some girl on girl action, earns her a prominent place in my "I Seriously Hope She's Lesbianish, Because That Would Be AWESOME!" Trunk 'O Wishes.<br /><br />I'm just going to be honest, here. Monique has been my favorite from day one. Not because she has the most "top model" potential, but, because she's unbearably gorgeous. <br /><br />It appears my shallowness knows no bounds. Yes. Yes, I know... I am part of the problem. SO?!<br /><br />Mikaela rocks it, does a fantastic job, and her team wins the challenge.<br /><br />Back at the ranch, Alexandria is crying on the phone with her boyfriend. She says that she's being looked at as different, because of, ya know, her bitchiness and stuff.<br /><br />Cue Alexandria's backstory: She says that her parents split up because of abuse. She's the oldest child, so, she had to grow up fast. She wants the other girls in the house to understand that she's coming from a place of "helping".<br /><br />Shyeah, the other girls totally don't get that.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR6_tkc2BX3BFJMhozFTND_SP30cr8Knj3bIZevlnnUzTpZnkMckvO_qM6NZh5JH2_pg8gxYAPUad2EBra6BlJtL9OMQQMnINlNOUYMSuBxkoZk0VM95dUsVOb-ZPFJ_D9O-b_/s1600/ANTM-S16E05-girlsinthehouse.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR6_tkc2BX3BFJMhozFTND_SP30cr8Knj3bIZevlnnUzTpZnkMckvO_qM6NZh5JH2_pg8gxYAPUad2EBra6BlJtL9OMQQMnINlNOUYMSuBxkoZk0VM95dUsVOb-ZPFJ_D9O-b_/s400/ANTM-S16E05-girlsinthehouse.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588669817333234450" /></a><br /><br />They're all sitting around discussing Alexandria, asking if she's taking meds for her personality issues, etc.<br /><br />Out of the blue, Monique suggests reading her diary. The other girls don't really try to stop her. Soooo, why not do it?!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYWPRTDTQ9Wvmv-urrNvWIJnoR8tbL0b-PcYLURYfn_b-PoEbZswUukqvi8d2RGlXoMH9ooAr8pZXY70vQHJxfedE_zfldKLmh3CT3EywLj9yPavX4iipElER6pVWAdwlnArzr/s1600/ANTM-S16E05-moniquediary.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYWPRTDTQ9Wvmv-urrNvWIJnoR8tbL0b-PcYLURYfn_b-PoEbZswUukqvi8d2RGlXoMH9ooAr8pZXY70vQHJxfedE_zfldKLmh3CT3EywLj9yPavX4iipElER6pVWAdwlnArzr/s400/ANTM-S16E05-moniquediary.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588670883454028338" /></a><br /><br />In fairness to Monique, she only read the diary to see how Alexandria really feels about all of the other girls... and stuff.<br /><br />Yeah, it was an uncool, shady thing to do. But, she's hot! So, it's okay. *cough*<br /><br />Nothing juicy was found in the diary, not even bitchy comments about the other girls. How un-bitch-like of Alexandria! <br /><br />What we did find out is that Alexandria has no idea why the other girls hate her and think she's a bossy bitch.<br /><br />Hmmm, I think this episode was meant to try and redeem Alexandria. What could this mean?!<br /><br />TYRA MAIL! mentions something about "taking a walk on the wild side." Hmmm, either the girls will be doing it gangbang style with Lou Reed OR, they'll be doing some picture taking with adorable animals!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuDnup0x3gZQraEThfDEbVMfw2LEnh3qGet0M7K4xdbIYOAmNVYmEVfkij63wUmGNFbtfEqFWfCAD16iRwwnClgD2XmCqiNutt5nEaKn9NPKoGwbtPB71eOtT40Q1JgdS29Wl5/s1600/ANTM-S16E05-zoo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuDnup0x3gZQraEThfDEbVMfw2LEnh3qGet0M7K4xdbIYOAmNVYmEVfkij63wUmGNFbtfEqFWfCAD16iRwwnClgD2XmCqiNutt5nEaKn9NPKoGwbtPB71eOtT40Q1JgdS29Wl5/s400/ANTM-S16E05-zoo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588867637336725650" /></a><br /><br />The models make their way over to the old LA Zoo where Mr. Jay is waiting to guide them through, yet, another pointless faux modeling shoot.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">SIDEBAR: A little Mr. Jay goes a long way. Where's Miss Jay?!</span><br /><br />Anyway, Mr. Jay tells them that they will be transformed into fashion versions of animals. Weeeee! The girls are super excited about this, even though they have no idea what it entails. <br /><br />For all they know, they could be forced to wear panda suits. Of course, the panda suits would be fierce, but, still.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9kx8XYULgflsU2ygu1i97zwOsFUfhjJanNEQ5oOA3y-nwNoG5UxVFZB-Mfuwx1A8fwYHqvJ55seBdPfNxl7njmx7DdLIFgZhl7Nxg89va_um_sicFDUFB4jYOYBxsp8IuS01c/s1600/ANTM-S16E05-babyjaguar.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9kx8XYULgflsU2ygu1i97zwOsFUfhjJanNEQ5oOA3y-nwNoG5UxVFZB-Mfuwx1A8fwYHqvJ55seBdPfNxl7njmx7DdLIFgZhl7Nxg89va_um_sicFDUFB4jYOYBxsp8IuS01c/s400/ANTM-S16E05-babyjaguar.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588870364665168834" /></a><br /><br />The models get extra excited when they find out that they will be posing, wearing pieces from Rachel Zoe's faux fur collection. Yaaaaay, faux fur!<br /><br />Also, they will be holding an adorable baby jaguar, named Murato. <br /><br />Not for nothing, but, I would really love to have a baby jaguar as a pet. I could keep him for a few months, then, before he gets huge and decides to rip my throat out, I would release him into some stranger's backyard. <br /><br />Hey, don't judge!<br /><br />Most of the models do well on the shoot. But, ya' know, one of them still has to go home. :(<br /><br />So, off they go to the judges' table to be, you know, judged.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7i2SXvjXza00BPMsMrI4yV9_CG-4xG5bkxUCp3pqr1pzRn4hQtenlDqGnnawIQppTSogUKpmCui-l-n5R8xSzNLqlCHh8MO_oE-jFzABCW_OHbVBvtWuS9IT0jsYPBv9F3LJa/s1600/ANTM-S16E05-judgespanel.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7i2SXvjXza00BPMsMrI4yV9_CG-4xG5bkxUCp3pqr1pzRn4hQtenlDqGnnawIQppTSogUKpmCui-l-n5R8xSzNLqlCHh8MO_oE-jFzABCW_OHbVBvtWuS9IT0jsYPBv9F3LJa/s400/ANTM-S16E05-judgespanel.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588874762871987730" /></a><br /><br />I'm always amazed at the big, happy smile on Alexandria's face. She, clearly, has no idea that she is loathed.<br /><br />I was really hoping that the guest judge, this week, would be the baby jaguar. He'd be sitting behind the judges' table wearing a beret, some aviator glasses and a smirk. He'd be, all, "That bitch was tryin' to upstage Murato. UNACCEPTABLE!"<br /><br />But, it was just Rachel Zoe and her ginormous finger broach.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJLJYwD-6YwSR0-J5DI4WnyJmpP-9ksnySjvLJEKScOIXl4ADZQGOborDlA5QCxaXe2ukKmSwri5ID2D3XdADv9cQEB4808iOFS-b0SCKlsFtVFjfYRZ-8U2OYLz6ApvOUSTlE/s1600/ANTM-S16E05-fingerbroach.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJLJYwD-6YwSR0-J5DI4WnyJmpP-9ksnySjvLJEKScOIXl4ADZQGOborDlA5QCxaXe2ukKmSwri5ID2D3XdADv9cQEB4808iOFS-b0SCKlsFtVFjfYRZ-8U2OYLz6ApvOUSTlE/s400/ANTM-S16E05-fingerbroach.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588878062792170898" /></a><br /><br />So, which models are in the bottom two, this week?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQXb6Vuke7sgQ6tGCsd73vyLtlPcq6dhvhLGDtytsrzdjzHBvhyphenhyphenKSQs3-p6Yls29_RQGkxOZfdtSfF2XZcl2yQwCZve3dTZt4upXoJDSlnqnqGcS-Y5pbURvLWYihNDqP4a91J/s1600/ANTM-S16E05-bottomtwo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQXb6Vuke7sgQ6tGCsd73vyLtlPcq6dhvhLGDtytsrzdjzHBvhyphenhyphenKSQs3-p6Yls29_RQGkxOZfdtSfF2XZcl2yQwCZve3dTZt4upXoJDSlnqnqGcS-Y5pbURvLWYihNDqP4a91J/s400/ANTM-S16E05-bottomtwo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588878965653034850" /></a><br /><br />Awww, it's Molly "bad weave" and Dalya.<br /><br />Unfortunately, Dalya is asked to pack up her makeup bag and go home. Too bad. Dalya has a great face and bone structure. IMO, she went home too early. Oh well... "It's Tyra's vision, girl."<br /><br />Be sure to join me next time for another snark filled adventure...!<br /><br />Comments and feedback always welcome. Also, feel free to stalk me on The Twitter <a href="http://www.twitter.com/XanxiuZ"> @XanxiuZ</a>.XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-48791078882975227592011-03-18T01:06:00.000-07:002011-03-18T07:25:58.224-07:00America's Next Top Model - Cycle 16 (Episode 04 / Francesco Carrozzini)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB3Gx2eaJkl4XCawg4H6kROalJVVk-fdEbsCQTxC-ExUx31AcY0TnzgUhnpOuSozmwqDJZUzBiqyAyuTWD1ahFz9CHZHIjmBYdeROnssloR0YRWf0AuxpcXHWTtmkARDy9dcsA/s1600/ANTM-S16E04-pic.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 485px; height: 287px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB3Gx2eaJkl4XCawg4H6kROalJVVk-fdEbsCQTxC-ExUx31AcY0TnzgUhnpOuSozmwqDJZUzBiqyAyuTWD1ahFz9CHZHIjmBYdeROnssloR0YRWf0AuxpcXHWTtmkARDy9dcsA/s400/ANTM-S16E04-pic.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585332265356207186" /></a><br /><br />Last time, on America's Next Top Model... stuff happened, a girl went home and, unfortunately, Alexandria got best pic of the week. Boooooo!<br /><br />As Tyra handed Alexandria her picture, she tempered the best pic praise with a warning: "Bad attitudes will not be tolerated." Yaaaaaaay!<br /><br />Alexandria seemed to take that to heart. In the diary room, she, basically, says that she doesn't want to come off as a person with a bad attitude. Okay. That's odd, because she's so good at it.<br /><br />Meanwhile...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6W10tGG2d8MLsboEJykHyKW2U3rQfYKcLYMNhvCLd4wYLMrnz7PqDVwWiHGpGPGt_U_kacNWtqax_r2cSPjHv3ADusO8O61H5XHsiexzKs-Q-fvW9veh4apU_n6u3FIHlBfxi/s1600/ANTM-S16E04-attable.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6W10tGG2d8MLsboEJykHyKW2U3rQfYKcLYMNhvCLd4wYLMrnz7PqDVwWiHGpGPGt_U_kacNWtqax_r2cSPjHv3ADusO8O61H5XHsiexzKs-Q-fvW9veh4apU_n6u3FIHlBfxi/s400/ANTM-S16E04-attable.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585335007795069186" /></a><br /><br />Kasia, Jaclyn, Dalya and Brittani are sitting around the table bemoaning the fact that Alexandria got best picture, this week.<br /><br />Brittani says, she's surprised, because real top models are so unbitchy and not divas at all. *cough* <br /><br />Two Words: Naomi Campbell. With or without a weaponized cell phone in her hand, that woman strikes fear into the hearts of maids, limo drivers and sycophants the world over. <br /><br />It seems that the consensus, in the house, is that they all, pretty much, hate Alexandria and really, really want her to go home. <br /><br />TYRA MAIL!<br /> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjzfbNzm7ewSCM0vrFcGidxtxq9FT5Dm15q8c9YHJObODc6yPA2-syZ-Sb22NRYvdP-oUwMJsXlbJ1En6yPHD-hTXxqlDKE12DqC0jZpu19PB3KVcluxGOqbt_59-DTuYNBLVP/s1600/ANTM-S16E04-tyramail.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 235px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjzfbNzm7ewSCM0vrFcGidxtxq9FT5Dm15q8c9YHJObODc6yPA2-syZ-Sb22NRYvdP-oUwMJsXlbJ1En6yPHD-hTXxqlDKE12DqC0jZpu19PB3KVcluxGOqbt_59-DTuYNBLVP/s400/ANTM-S16E04-tyramail.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585344357508502194" /></a><br /><br />The models head over to a seedy looking warehouse, for a runway challenge. <br /><br />Miss Jay greets them and tells them that they will be modeling the latest collection from Geoffrey Mac. Yaaaaaaay!<br /><br />Oh yeah, and the runway will be ON FIRE! Umm...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcmNcYsYVMGKsl7gBRHaaqjGh5RHMJV8G0ON4AmoczObNZhafxTXJwXruC6TeIfV1AAM3CKW-Y4B9VPnj2kQX4lC4OMgTbh2qkX8mohevgrikOF6iyywWAswnl1RLwIDNVORYv/s1600/ANTM-S16E04-runwayoffire.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcmNcYsYVMGKsl7gBRHaaqjGh5RHMJV8G0ON4AmoczObNZhafxTXJwXruC6TeIfV1AAM3CKW-Y4B9VPnj2kQX4lC4OMgTbh2qkX8mohevgrikOF6iyywWAswnl1RLwIDNVORYv/s400/ANTM-S16E04-runwayoffire.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585346904867269826" /></a><br /><br />Anytime I feel the need to question the stunts on this show, I hear this little voice in my head.. "It's Tyra's vision, girl. Just go with it." Then, I do another shot of tequila.<br /><br />As the models are staring wide-eyed at the flaming runway, Miss Jay says: <BLOCKQUOTE>"There's one more thing. *DRAMATIC PAUSE* Did I happen to mention that we'll, also, be lighting YOU on fire, tonight?!"</BLOCKQUOTE><br />Say, WHAT?! Seriously, maybe somebody needs to alert OSHA to these dangerous working conditions, because, I mean... "It's Tyra's vision, girl. Just go with it."<br /><br />Miss Jay sends the models off to hair, makeup and to get set on fire.<br /><br />Oh, so just their hands will be on fire? And, they'll be wearing protective gloves? What a jip!<br /><br />Needless to say, no one caught on fire or had a stop, drop and roll moment.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA3pvQfp0L14jDSiJloQkqfiD5wBsiDTBpp7SDF9fciU2iQWU2JCh8S2BQhM8NXyKX_H20PkoxBwr1ZfzqsosXQqw0H24QdIb-UIHgfIaggIJsa6K0wao6SR6NZ5fwVyNl-kXn/s1600/ANTM-S16E04-dalyafire.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA3pvQfp0L14jDSiJloQkqfiD5wBsiDTBpp7SDF9fciU2iQWU2JCh8S2BQhM8NXyKX_H20PkoxBwr1ZfzqsosXQqw0H24QdIb-UIHgfIaggIJsa6K0wao6SR6NZ5fwVyNl-kXn/s400/ANTM-S16E04-dalyafire.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585354464752410754" /></a><br />I'll tell you what WAS on fire! Dayla's runway walk. See what I just did, there? See?!<br /><br />Dalya won the runway challenge, because she was fierce.<br /><br />At the end of the runway challenge, Miss Jay critiqued each model's walk. The worst walkers were Sara, Hannah and Kasia.<br /><br />Because they were the worst walkers... and needed more walking practice, Miss Jay told them that they would be walking home.<br /><br />They were surprised.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjPfReL-3VVTrBWaYFkgcDmanv2NIYUFt5clDwjG8Gu6x5OCEJhpxsqdukGPXbd0Kma1xenH-LcibQoIHH_iJ25mJJygcN_Db8Vt8kgGMBHf0RhX4Nr9iwOB4aFBxRcD33uKaM/s1600/ANTM-S16E04-walkinghome.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjPfReL-3VVTrBWaYFkgcDmanv2NIYUFt5clDwjG8Gu6x5OCEJhpxsqdukGPXbd0Kma1xenH-LcibQoIHH_iJ25mJJygcN_Db8Vt8kgGMBHf0RhX4Nr9iwOB4aFBxRcD33uKaM/s400/ANTM-S16E04-walkinghome.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585357191454284514" /></a><br /><br />So, they walk home.<br /><br />They try to make the best of it by staging an impromptu runway (sidewalk) strut. But, ya know, they still kind of suck at the runway walkiness.<br /><br />As soon as the three worst walkers arrive back at the Ponderosa...<br /><br />TYRA MAIL!<br /><br />The mail mentions "causing a scene," which the models quickly decipher to mean ACTING! Oh. No!<br /><br />A script gets delivered and the models get to work memorizing their lines.<br /><br />The commercial is a throwback to the 60s, a la Mad Men. There's a Don Draper type ad exec sitting behind his desk. He's agonizing over how he's going to make coffee sexy.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWKoYmvCXbD93_7y6w93slqNHdYQ_GApUPgoiJUKdfu5XL2bCmgqa7ll75EWeFDyT27851W5o9Owt24en4M9l69I3_vSUgLf3ht95Fb-zUDjLEoF3obgpsJ0kHKTbq8G8bNOxu/s1600/ANTM-S16E04-fierceroast.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWKoYmvCXbD93_7y6w93slqNHdYQ_GApUPgoiJUKdfu5XL2bCmgqa7ll75EWeFDyT27851W5o9Owt24en4M9l69I3_vSUgLf3ht95Fb-zUDjLEoF3obgpsJ0kHKTbq8G8bNOxu/s400/ANTM-S16E04-fierceroast.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585411691085248146" /></a><br /><br />Enter two sexy secretaries who, sexily, help him come up with a sexy ad campaign... that is sexy.<br /><br />A few of the models have difficulty bringing the sexy, especially Sara. Sara fancies herself a feminist and obviously feels a bit awkward doing this sillyass, fake commercial. I can't say that I blame her.<br /><br />Uh ohhh...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX7rUMTH_afwyovhCJJvhYgX7_oDl7puoMgTjbVSY4sZ-f0_AV9H_02IUDWDgspsOIRggIFLUHR3T7otsf8_JcV-QImFpsQeY7PjzyxiVaff3SIJOIhNCBx8Hpo9ANulUbfl8j/s1600/ANTM-S16E04-uhoh.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 272px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX7rUMTH_afwyovhCJJvhYgX7_oDl7puoMgTjbVSY4sZ-f0_AV9H_02IUDWDgspsOIRggIFLUHR3T7otsf8_JcV-QImFpsQeY7PjzyxiVaff3SIJOIhNCBx8Hpo9ANulUbfl8j/s400/ANTM-S16E04-uhoh.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585414724208120658" /></a><br /><br />It's that time, again. Time for the models to stand before the judges, and be critiqued, as if any of them really have a chance to be successful models.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0c3WvLcE_yUgponc4gIpCzQUJavjpbWxiQnSV3h1E5QTFyJvfR0wafm-mMic8Cdi1e3AQYh2cFyYXPj9hIla8qEk80msWqwN6OaIPvBssO6vNL1dOqH-Pxb5JGsJAoOIAfIAn/s1600/ANTM-S16E04-shortman.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0c3WvLcE_yUgponc4gIpCzQUJavjpbWxiQnSV3h1E5QTFyJvfR0wafm-mMic8Cdi1e3AQYh2cFyYXPj9hIla8qEk80msWqwN6OaIPvBssO6vNL1dOqH-Pxb5JGsJAoOIAfIAn/s400/ANTM-S16E04-shortman.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585417353252813154" /></a><br /><br />Francesco Carrozzini, who appears to be around 4' 7", is guest judging this week.<br /><br />Along with the judges, we, the viewers are forced to sit through all of the models' really bad commercials. Then, the judges do what they do.<br /><br />During Alexandria's critique, Francesco narcs her out and says she was trying to direct other models and, generally, trying to run the show. <br /><br />Ty Ty is not amused to hear this.<br /><br />Bottom two this week..<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4bx4nZsoYS5l7b682F7lpc72e4XC3ztrOfnwSW7ELVmoSV0XUDF9UcEZNmsKkhDkCfR_RHF-iMJK02LFAFb8U1GEBca0W_zFTnZNmiEf1dcC3MyhvznxSpnGR5lTaPZ8Xo-6m/s1600/ANTM-S16E04-bottomtwo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4bx4nZsoYS5l7b682F7lpc72e4XC3ztrOfnwSW7ELVmoSV0XUDF9UcEZNmsKkhDkCfR_RHF-iMJK02LFAFb8U1GEBca0W_zFTnZNmiEf1dcC3MyhvznxSpnGR5lTaPZ8Xo-6m/s400/ANTM-S16E04-bottomtwo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585419328041511282" /></a><br /><br />Sara and Alexadria.<br /><br />Could it be that Alexandria is finally going home?!<br /><br />Booooooo, Sara is asked to pack up her makeup bag and go home. :-( I really liked Sara. Cute, quirky, funny. But, alas, not a Top Model.<br /><br />Be sure to join me next time for another snark filled adventure as I recap America's Next Top Model!<br /><br />Comments and feedback always welcome. Also, feel free to stalk me on The Twitter <a href="http://www.twitter.com/XanxiuZ"> @XanxiuZ</a>.XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-28685922814482783072011-03-14T03:45:00.001-07:002011-03-14T07:06:25.210-07:00America's Next Top Model - Cycle 16 (Episode 03 / Lori Goldstein)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk9ETSMi5AkfcupujuQNtkWTuhZ4cbx7CYm8fmIvTwsbx73Vf_xnjwygxyyoYQIc6SA3GjwjlxTcsp6IvAisxoY3tPnAkd3bN1LwBpuHc36VfU5NEcvN5WVTe-olYqRyKNpuT4/s1600/ANTM-S16E03-pic.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 237px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk9ETSMi5AkfcupujuQNtkWTuhZ4cbx7CYm8fmIvTwsbx73Vf_xnjwygxyyoYQIc6SA3GjwjlxTcsp6IvAisxoY3tPnAkd3bN1LwBpuHc36VfU5NEcvN5WVTe-olYqRyKNpuT4/s400/ANTM-S16E03-pic.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583927079473072226" /></a><br /><br />Previously, on America's Next Top Model... some girl was sent packing.<br /><br />The models arrive back home to see Hannah's picture hanging on the wall. Everybody's all, "look how beautiful she is and stuff... Oh, what's that?!"<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-m8olhFVQqA_AEzAbQ-W-lBNIKmfq6pfD0Vq1Y2fF1ZVEopUU3V64SCMsY9bbjUDilP9NvS1cM7x3lrWNA2S7vsekBrKHD8i-h68e_GzNjRSki9Gupz90mMzpS6I7yCUglRUK/s1600/ANTM-S16E03-pullme.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-m8olhFVQqA_AEzAbQ-W-lBNIKmfq6pfD0Vq1Y2fF1ZVEopUU3V64SCMsY9bbjUDilP9NvS1cM7x3lrWNA2S7vsekBrKHD8i-h68e_GzNjRSki9Gupz90mMzpS6I7yCUglRUK/s400/ANTM-S16E03-pullme.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583904469173882642" /></a><br /><br />First of all, if you ever see a "Pull Me" sign or some strange man asks you to pull anything, you should run the other way. But, no! These girls make a beeline for the "Pull Me" sign, and, of course, they pull it. Amateurs!<br /><br />A screen falls down and it's filled with all sorts of different makeover descriptions.<br /><br />MAKEOVER WEEEEEEK!<br /><br />All of the girls stand around trying to guess what their makeovers will be.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRvTUeNsu1X5JHCeGPgrVMQavYqOh7KJOSOYGs3oaRjUGeWkOMouMyiUJ52GoIW02YZm7vJ0iOB0-VqgUboyPfkZnKLYjKb4Cn36vkBue9zPMrV7VnLx1MmfTW5FwAHc0XuUFB/s1600/ANTM-S16E03-manlyspikes.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRvTUeNsu1X5JHCeGPgrVMQavYqOh7KJOSOYGs3oaRjUGeWkOMouMyiUJ52GoIW02YZm7vJ0iOB0-VqgUboyPfkZnKLYjKb4Cn36vkBue9zPMrV7VnLx1MmfTW5FwAHc0XuUFB/s400/ANTM-S16E03-manlyspikes.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583904648268504338" /></a><br /><br />Sara opines that she's pretty sure she'll get the "Manly Short Brown Spikes" because she's considered the "androgynous" one. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtKxuKmCz0bNuVHkxfdT0p61NNTHeG56frbpEGMH854RifJM6RL-LREx_Hev3zmo1Si01_Yp6tzpLtp_smhY20-s-TlhM9Imh4KtdPwxltK6vXluOaJBGNbEoFyFpMzINbxCMN/s1600/ANTM-S16E03-manlyabs.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtKxuKmCz0bNuVHkxfdT0p61NNTHeG56frbpEGMH854RifJM6RL-LREx_Hev3zmo1Si01_Yp6tzpLtp_smhY20-s-TlhM9Imh4KtdPwxltK6vXluOaJBGNbEoFyFpMzINbxCMN/s400/ANTM-S16E03-manlyabs.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583905321328883154" /></a><br /><br />She says that she enjoys being androgynous, but, sometimes a girl just wants to get all tarted up. She implores Tyra to give her a weave and/or some extensions. <br /><br />The next morning, the models head to a salon for their fabulous new makeovers...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUeaht7eQRjWjJWUT6MNaKiAMPfxgpRkY7MBs_6q6eiTgA2isLU1MPGJgNs_dYB0xvyIcUU0gdm2F2XRFvvwbw7CbKuLv9vimN9amzeH8q2cjn-GZSGhe18tWZzXnlzNPcddym/s1600/ANTM-S16E03-missjayhair.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUeaht7eQRjWjJWUT6MNaKiAMPfxgpRkY7MBs_6q6eiTgA2isLU1MPGJgNs_dYB0xvyIcUU0gdm2F2XRFvvwbw7CbKuLv9vimN9amzeH8q2cjn-GZSGhe18tWZzXnlzNPcddym/s400/ANTM-S16E03-missjayhair.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583905463059766162" /></a><br /><br />Umm, hold up. I'm gonna need a minute to fully process the look Miss Jay is going for, right here. *takes a tequila break*<br /><br />Meanwhile, back at the salon, the Jays tell the girls that, after they get their makeovers, there will be a photo shoot.<br /><br />The models are still a wee bit nervous because none of them wants to get their hair cut. They all whine about it... incessantly.<br /><br />SERIOUSLY?! This show has been on since the early 70s! Every season, some makeover involves hair cutting. SHUT UP ABOUT IT, ALREADY!<br /><br />Most of the makeovers go very well... Most of them.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0QMJM2-N0EqOY28EgovNvLlhfEvZgdBSX-HI6gVNlNxOAdPSors4HQ5oeRuRVjtU7iRDmD5FNM8gXJ4qES-gzN7qQjAF9vAPc_M8HeFtMERsFO9wb_tFHzOL912elXoRT6-Uk/s1600/ANTM-S16E03-mollyweave.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0QMJM2-N0EqOY28EgovNvLlhfEvZgdBSX-HI6gVNlNxOAdPSors4HQ5oeRuRVjtU7iRDmD5FNM8gXJ4qES-gzN7qQjAF9vAPc_M8HeFtMERsFO9wb_tFHzOL912elXoRT6-Uk/s400/ANTM-S16E03-mollyweave.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583905618936685490" /></a><br /><br />Poor Molly. She looks like Dee Snider coming off of a weekend long meth bender. Understandably, she's miserable about it. Ya' know, because it's hideous. But, Molly is a trooper and doesn't really complain... too much.<br /><br />On the limo ride home, Molly is a super unhappy camper. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9SHyM89pqTvLHRPeQZOBU-_4iecA7PUhqMV7E-k5OewQr7Lv35EIoCLOCGUprsYbYyoxpc5fvWocJoWPag3X4BZBOYaGiYdJ-GUtZajy2sW198sj5BUPgzy-V-ItylMsMsshG/s1600/ANTM-S16E03-unhappycamper.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9SHyM89pqTvLHRPeQZOBU-_4iecA7PUhqMV7E-k5OewQr7Lv35EIoCLOCGUprsYbYyoxpc5fvWocJoWPag3X4BZBOYaGiYdJ-GUtZajy2sW198sj5BUPgzy-V-ItylMsMsshG/s400/ANTM-S16E03-unhappycamper.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583908566856408130" /></a><br /><br />Of course, all the other bitches take this opportunity to, basically, point and laugh at her because of the jacked up weave.<br /><br />Alexandria tells Molly that she should have gone all Diva, on the hair stylist, when she realized that the weave was a lost cause. <br /><br />She was, all, "you shoulda been, like, nuh uhn, bitch. No, you didn't just jack my weave. Nuh uhn. Naw, no way. Naw. Get Tyra on the muthafuckin phone!" <br /><br />Alexandria gives really bad advice, and, yes.. we still hate her.<br /><br />TYRA MAIL!<br /><br />Tyra mails are always stupidly cryptic. This one says something about photosynthesis. Some of the girls think they'll be doing a photo shoot dressed as flowers. But, most of them just, kind of, stare blankly at the screen.<br /><br />McLovin? Is that you?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgN6arKuw-f1zyFcfNFgAlBo4YXGbs8Z80XDp6psTPuiPqKTumwK_Sa6Q1kDHJQnru5HKlo_gB_0H2Wc8HonkC767oi-1nlFN7_SH_EXj4S6lKDYWDuTCRGu6UXh4wqwdJo4TL/s1600/ANTM-S16E03-saramclovin.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgN6arKuw-f1zyFcfNFgAlBo4YXGbs8Z80XDp6psTPuiPqKTumwK_Sa6Q1kDHJQnru5HKlo_gB_0H2Wc8HonkC767oi-1nlFN7_SH_EXj4S6lKDYWDuTCRGu6UXh4wqwdJo4TL/s400/ANTM-S16E03-saramclovin.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583906049966120482" /></a><br /><br />Sara steps into the diary room to whine about her short hair. <br /><br />Listen, Sara. The sooner you realize that this has absolutely nothing to do with you, and EVERYTHING to do with TYRA'S VISION, the better off you will be!<br /><br />The next morning, the girls visit some sort of ranch where they meet fashion stylist, Lori Goldstein.<br /><br />Mr. Jay tells them that today is all about couture and they will be posing in groups of couture awesomeness!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqxOaeQTQtOSzh5uLEA47VYPhZ65FIlwgVeGTTZ_VfY6zLRYq0uyMCn6yTow-fHRgpTfVUIoVtDn7fdS6rHC5-_D-doCguk_u-Q0rmUKeIGTwzUYAgu0biD0r-kszNvtZTdeXj/s1600/ANTM-S16E03-couture.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqxOaeQTQtOSzh5uLEA47VYPhZ65FIlwgVeGTTZ_VfY6zLRYq0uyMCn6yTow-fHRgpTfVUIoVtDn7fdS6rHC5-_D-doCguk_u-Q0rmUKeIGTwzUYAgu0biD0r-kszNvtZTdeXj/s400/ANTM-S16E03-couture.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583906180339199714" /></a><br /><br />For some reason, every "couture" shoot on ANTM has the models dressed up like 17th century gothic whores. What's that about? Oh yeah, it's Tyra's vision.<br /><br />Not for nothing, but, Dominique's new makeover kind of makes her look like the Cowardly Lion's daughter. Is that the look Ty Ty was going for?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZFvuz-iQ5OQLaiK97HJYZ3Vtctbeq9evtADQSoqAKL7q6NwZ06s3v4OORb0jZ3Q0Ji-XLR0_wuLlDOFAMawIMyqpWg292fW_KAaZ2NVjtr9C-xI3FsuIYDh92LDnwEcXpOSIY/s1600/ANTM-S16E03-cowardlylion.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZFvuz-iQ5OQLaiK97HJYZ3Vtctbeq9evtADQSoqAKL7q6NwZ06s3v4OORb0jZ3Q0Ji-XLR0_wuLlDOFAMawIMyqpWg292fW_KAaZ2NVjtr9C-xI3FsuIYDh92LDnwEcXpOSIY/s400/ANTM-S16E03-cowardlylion.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583911933403393346" /></a><br /><br />Dominique is sad because during the gothic whores couture shoot, Mr. Jay gave her some constructive critiques. He tells her that the worst thing a model can NOT have is inspiration. This makes Dominique cry.<br /><br />Seems to me that there are other "worst things a model can NOT have" that would trump "inspiration." How about teeth, Mr. Jay? Or, a normal sized forehead? Two eyes (non-crossed, preferably)?<br /><br />I suspect that Mr. Jay just wanted some camera time, and just made that shit up, on the spot.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi84g0Mk2fW7ckKYT1s6i3guUAlM5VX9Fw_hWeAcJcJxYniTL8OzCSeROQAAj-CsW2qdMNE4erxlfvIFR6ZNK6lPHc0ZJv6JMUdqeYNyDZWAer-WUEpxdXJA0Wmzu5rHL2qLOiw/s1600/ANTM-S16E03-uhoh.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi84g0Mk2fW7ckKYT1s6i3guUAlM5VX9Fw_hWeAcJcJxYniTL8OzCSeROQAAj-CsW2qdMNE4erxlfvIFR6ZNK6lPHc0ZJv6JMUdqeYNyDZWAer-WUEpxdXJA0Wmzu5rHL2qLOiw/s400/ANTM-S16E03-uhoh.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583918386861448610" /></a><br /><br />Uh oh...<br /><br />It's time for the girls to go stand before the judges and allow them to summarily critique, belittle and advise them to seriously consider getting or keeping their day jobs.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH6FceSTGaXzvSa8c1GdawbaB2nfc0nI0xUUMSNwfj9ID4T1mkvMJTeURut9lgCIAEksEem28ViBWC6Msg2k4nZUaB7WfjeVDCAFRfh2BYG0E6hhWaHv618OGyo2Qwr5633ohg/s1600/ANTM-S16E03-andre.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH6FceSTGaXzvSa8c1GdawbaB2nfc0nI0xUUMSNwfj9ID4T1mkvMJTeURut9lgCIAEksEem28ViBWC6Msg2k4nZUaB7WfjeVDCAFRfh2BYG0E6hhWaHv618OGyo2Qwr5633ohg/s400/ANTM-S16E03-andre.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583920278454744034" /></a><br /><br />At this point, I'm convinced that Andre's chimney sweep hat has been stapled to his head. Every week? Seriously?<br /><br />One by one, the girls step forward in groups. First up is Monique and Alexandria. All of the judges agree that Alexandria stands out in the group photo, however... being a whiny diva bitch, on set, when you are, essentially, a nobody in the industry is unacceptable. I'm paraphrasing.<br /><br />Alexandria looks as if she's about to cry. Hahahahahaha! Good stuff.<br /><br />When Dominique's group steps up, Nigel says that she just looked lost, in her group shot. Tyra says that it looked as if she'd lost her spirit. And.... Dominique, pretty much, agrees. <br /><br />Bottom two, this week...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzchhxqaEqPAuUwBSMhENKu5q-3hNUmodAXf2M-gKKIkIbGZvMp0r8ihYJY6KZdjOPibknYW05aWSxoj3VwlE3x9Kb1IBTwp9z2gVn4I3hVhPtFy48bzybB5rSgaKeIdtjcy72/s1600/ANTM-S16E03-bottomtwo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzchhxqaEqPAuUwBSMhENKu5q-3hNUmodAXf2M-gKKIkIbGZvMp0r8ihYJY6KZdjOPibknYW05aWSxoj3VwlE3x9Kb1IBTwp9z2gVn4I3hVhPtFy48bzybB5rSgaKeIdtjcy72/s400/ANTM-S16E03-bottomtwo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583924309562951970" /></a><br /><br />Cowardly Lion's daughter and McLovin. So, who goes home? <br /><br />Unfortunately, Dominique is asked to pack up her makeup bag and go home. Kinda sucks, because, she had a fun personality.<br /><br />Be sure to join me next time for another snark filled, potentially, angry recap of America's Next Top Model!<br /><br />Comments and feedback always welcome. Also, feel free to stalk me on The Twitter <a href="http://www.twitter.com/XanxiuZ"> @XanxiuZ</a>.XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-38239949060948095322011-03-04T19:44:00.000-08:002011-03-05T05:07:27.015-08:00I'm Pretty Sure I Have A Bug Phobia!On the Gay Lady spectrum, I fall somewhere between "Butch" and "Only Wears Makeup on Special Occasions" <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3qF9orR9RbipfmOE4Jtb5xFgfmBx-hgwGeLscOXKvCQKzcvfWt5KLtqJRFP7lr1RBG3JA-yaEDMbaSjk31Ujn4J_DwEMmqghh2LiXpG1A91h54uhXmHP831dElLw8eUfmA-td/s1600/GLS.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3qF9orR9RbipfmOE4Jtb5xFgfmBx-hgwGeLscOXKvCQKzcvfWt5KLtqJRFP7lr1RBG3JA-yaEDMbaSjk31Ujn4J_DwEMmqghh2LiXpG1A91h54uhXmHP831dElLw8eUfmA-td/s400/GLS.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5580579828989234258" /></a><br />I own, about, 25 pairs of shoes. Mostly skate shoes, a few pairs of flip flops, a couple of pairs of Doc Martens, and one lonely pair of flats that I've worn, maybe, 3 times.<br /><br />Around the house, I'm the "fixer." Shit breaks down or stops working, that's all me. Computer having problems? Yep, that's me, too. Spiders? Umm... that would be my sister's department. My super girly, always touching up her makeup, looking in the mirror, flirting with cute guys, high heels wearing sister!<br /><br />I used to think that, like most people, I just didn't like bugs. They're creepy and crawly and, generally disgusting. Anything that low to the ground and moves that fast is not to be trusted. Don't even get me started on babies and elves!<br /><br />I suspected that my dislike for bugs had become a full blown phobia the first time I had to call my sister downstairs to deal with a, particularly menacing looking, spider that was lurking in the kitchen.<br /><br />Thinking back on it, I'm pretty sure the spider had a knife. <br /><br />My sister came downstairs, wearing her favorite multi-colored toe socks, murdered the spider, then looked at me with, what I can only describe as a mixture of disdain and smugness. No remorse for killing the spider, though. That concerned me. I mean, shouldn't there be some remorse? I know it's just a bug. But, still.<br /><br />Here's the thing. If some grown ass human gets in your face, I got your back. I'm right there to handle what needs handling. I'll even backhand a toddler, if necessary.<br /><br />BUT, if a cricket steps to you with bad intentions? Guess what? My ass will be in the car. Engine running. Radio on, listening to Love Songs with Delilah.<br /><br />Oh yeah, I'm not crazy about birds, either. *cough*XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-65820454327970810372011-03-03T16:48:00.001-08:002011-03-04T19:44:25.813-08:00America's Next Top Model - Cycle 16 (Episode 02)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvlyyVpdGsVqfXXXTy2X6Z_yqw9CjK_45N7lAGqnCRq6-lp5Ikc16w0bQvlTjMXRJpv41ycs-ZxfwQKS43M9HUHTPGg_RxxuXvC0ZeAI7pR687fhqCKSgSULEq5_Bv5ueBpWwK/s1600/ANTM-S16E02-pic.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvlyyVpdGsVqfXXXTy2X6Z_yqw9CjK_45N7lAGqnCRq6-lp5Ikc16w0bQvlTjMXRJpv41ycs-ZxfwQKS43M9HUHTPGg_RxxuXvC0ZeAI7pR687fhqCKSgSULEq5_Bv5ueBpWwK/s400/ANTM-S16E02-pic.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5580020411495117266" /></a><br /><br />Episode two opens with the girls coming home, presumably, from some magical place where pretty people sit around, strategizing about how to make average looking girls feel more average. <br /><br />Molly won best picture last week, so all of the other models stand around, looking at Molly's picture, pretending to be happy for her. I like Molly. She seems very grounded and genuine. Of course, this is only episode 2, so, this might change. <br /><br />Cut to Alexandria, yet again, forcing unwanted advice on someone. This time, it's poor, old looking Nicole who is on the receiving end of Alexandria's wisdom. What is up with this chic? <br /><br />Think back to your college days. Remember that bitch who thought she was all sophisticated and knew everything, about life, because she spent a summer in France? That same girl that everybody in the dorm avoided because she would inject herself into other people's conversations, and, on occasion, say shit in french for NO GOOD REASON! Yeah, that's Alexandria. We, kind of, hate Alexandria. And by "we", I mean "me".<br /><br />Ondrei and Dominique are relaxing on the couch, eating pizza and talking about stuff. Ondrei opens up about a recent family tragedy.<br /><br /><BLOCKQUOTE> Dominique: <i>You got brothers and sisters? </i> <p> Ondrei: <i>Two of my brothers died.</i> </BLOCKQUOTE> <br />Then, Dominique makes this face...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5L1Ez9H5R2o_z-rNb11bHl-um1KXJH3ItoTT_tIh36KYyM6AMOg4oFot-2Ia6w9_g6jypm-Lhy8b0xo7g30twmdtDWvFx19VlUQgXhsWO_23leBmkI2MHAPECCaxeyvn_i2eN/s1600/ANTM-S16E02-wrongface.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5L1Ez9H5R2o_z-rNb11bHl-um1KXJH3ItoTT_tIh36KYyM6AMOg4oFot-2Ia6w9_g6jypm-Lhy8b0xo7g30twmdtDWvFx19VlUQgXhsWO_23leBmkI2MHAPECCaxeyvn_i2eN/s400/ANTM-S16E02-wrongface.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5580028792247614690" /></a><br /><br />I'm really not trying to be judgmental, but... this is sooo not the face to make when someone tells you that two of their siblings recently died. Dominique looks as if someone just told her that they eat buggers as snacks.<br /><br />The next morning, Tyra comes visiting along with a nutritionist named Heather Bauer. Heather is there to try and teach the girls about proper nutrition. Ya' know, 'cause Skittles and blow are definitely NOT parts of the food pyramid.<br /><br />Apparently, Brittani, having just come back from auditioning for Showboat, <br /> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcKCbW8DtTM5lRd9uArH7omTAKC-j0Km7i7Xy68HaZaZaTAV5oQsBcm2yh2qh10UolJoMUhacaqVZugiIYfAE_-DnnvWsKJpUrdD6aRejrfHglT6hNYPd_e5pV7LVww-YQAevI/s1600/ANTM-S16E02-showboat.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcKCbW8DtTM5lRd9uArH7omTAKC-j0Km7i7Xy68HaZaZaTAV5oQsBcm2yh2qh10UolJoMUhacaqVZugiIYfAE_-DnnvWsKJpUrdD6aRejrfHglT6hNYPd_e5pV7LVww-YQAevI/s400/ANTM-S16E02-showboat.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5580030845238343970" /></a><br /><br />is very excited to see Tyra and the nutritionist lady.<br /><br />Heather has invented something called "Cheaties". The definition of "Cheaties" is things that seem bad, but, aren't. Hmm, I wonder if this applies to strippers? Whatever. Not important.<br /><br />So, Tyra and the nutritionist lady have devised a little taste testing game for the models: While blindfolded, they taste two dishes and try to pick the healthiest dish. <br /><br />The models fail miserably and pick the wrong, unhealthy dishes. So, I guess it's true what they say about pretty girls... they have horrible palettes.<br /><br />Later on in the evening, some of the girls, having been inspired after chatting with the nutritionist lady, decide to clean out the fridge. They encounter something disgusting in a bowl. <br /><br />Of course, this is Alexandria's cue to come over and start spouting off. Have I mentioned how much we hate her?<br /><br />Anyway, so, she and Dalya get into it because Dalya thinks raw chicken should not be in a bowl, but wrapped in plastic. Alexandria points out to Dalya that she spent a summer in France, therefore, she's a raw chicken expert.<br /><br />Dalya walks away, correctly surmising that Alexandria is crazy.<br /><br />Even after Dalya has walked away, Alexandria is still yammering on that she's aware that raw chicken should be wrapped in plastic, even though she's the one who put it in a bowl. Shyeah.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyftPQgoAVPFIHnjB3YjkwY9_aY4tw5AIallre6fUf359BqWnuxFFrdXbqld9pExQEqI2wAsDJWcjwjqWRK5TZ2FB4mcRLG-4Kn5z4qggh6JfqKfackawIDVhFEGGOK_t-VI9Z/s1600/ANTM-S16E02-scaryface.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyftPQgoAVPFIHnjB3YjkwY9_aY4tw5AIallre6fUf359BqWnuxFFrdXbqld9pExQEqI2wAsDJWcjwjqWRK5TZ2FB4mcRLG-4Kn5z4qggh6JfqKfackawIDVhFEGGOK_t-VI9Z/s400/ANTM-S16E02-scaryface.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5580039892040901266" /></a><br /><br />Jaclyn, aka Scared Deer in Headlights, is afraid of Alexandria, saying, "she could woop my butt." Yes, I'm sure that she could.<br /><br />Apparently, Alexandria was so upset about the Raw Chicken dustup, she needed to vent about it in the diary room.<br /><br />This is the look she decided to go with *cough*<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh2meffrZVuspn-PrlzINpV1RqMnqGBALEMC-xGHF75baX-97D4bvjrzhPrO-z04xJ0S6ovCJocf3lLMN2Pwz_s3jdO4PYPBp2vwFPwU4zneom-udlLGe1KvGwfcpcndSAjaSk/s1600/ANTM-S16E02-notsexy.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh2meffrZVuspn-PrlzINpV1RqMnqGBALEMC-xGHF75baX-97D4bvjrzhPrO-z04xJ0S6ovCJocf3lLMN2Pwz_s3jdO4PYPBp2vwFPwU4zneom-udlLGe1KvGwfcpcndSAjaSk/s400/ANTM-S16E02-notsexy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5580042162305215506" /></a><br /><br />Jesus on a cracker, it's a modeling competition! I mean, shouldn't you, at least, try to look attractive? I'm pretty sure I gave this woman $2 bucks to wash my windshield, last week.<br /><br />Moving on...<br /><br />TYRA MAIL!<br /><br />The models discover that they are about to face their worst critic. Ooooh, scary. Of course, all of us ANTM veterans know this means the ACTING CHALLENGE!<br /><br />The girls meetup with Nigel and acting coach, Eugene Buica. They are there to do battle with their "inner critic." Inner critic? Have none of these girls ever had a mother? *rimshot*<br /><br />The models have to draw a picture of their inner critic, then yell at it and tell it to shut up, go away and stop sending all of those inappropriate, late night text messages! <br /><br />One by one, they get up to face their inner critic, and, to just vent a little. All of their silly insecurities are overshadowed by Ondrei's vent.<br /><br />Ondrei vents about the deaths of her two brothers and how the men in her life, who should be sharing this moment with her, are not there. It's very, very sad. And powerful. Everybody is crying. At this point, I really just wanted to climb through my TV and give her a big hug. But, as I am not that little girl from The Ring, that wasn't going to happen.<br /><br />Because jewelry makes everything better, the models each get a pair of lovely ear rings from J. Estina Jewelers.<br /><br />The next day, the models head off to a photo shoot. When they arrive, Mr. Jay tells them that they will be taking pictures while bees attack their faces. BEES! LOTS AND LOTS OF BEES! Not for nothing, but, this segment really ratcheted up my bug phobia. It's a thing. I hate bugs. ALL BUGS. Bees are bugs!<br /><br />As this photo shoot is just stupid, we're gonna fast forward. Suffice it to say that the killer BEES didn't kill anybody. They didn't even sting anybody. BORING!<br /><br />Back at the ranch, Ondrei is talking about how she's there but not really there. Basically, she's thinking about going home.<br /><br />Meanwhile, at the judges table, Andre Talley is still sporting that damn chimney sweep hat.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifOCFArf_nKW9ZurT8U-HYNi_wM6FdfSPiHvQHe8a3d0hhjcBNg96LVN62JTeFCadjEB141B6ZW_iBxZUHMofHiyy5tOr3goMCi4RCD5USfWcPH1oy-U2GuH8H_JZFDDazWAWw/s1600/ANTM-S16E02-chimneysweep.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifOCFArf_nKW9ZurT8U-HYNi_wM6FdfSPiHvQHe8a3d0hhjcBNg96LVN62JTeFCadjEB141B6ZW_iBxZUHMofHiyy5tOr3goMCi4RCD5USfWcPH1oy-U2GuH8H_JZFDDazWAWw/s400/ANTM-S16E02-chimneysweep.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5580051035839829858" /></a><br />Andre, sweetie, I get that you are an influential fashionista. But, seriously, the hat. People are talking.<br /><br />Tyra calls Ondrei up, first. Ondrei says that the photo shoot did not go well because she did not give 100%. She says she's very appreciative of the opportunity, but, she wants to go home, due to her family situation.<br /><br />So, Ondrei leaves and the models all think they are safe. Psych! Tyra tells them that, even though Ondrei has left, if any of them had worse pictures than Ondrei, they will go home. WTF? I call no fair and bullshit on that!<br /><br />Unfortunately, Nicole (who Tyra said looks 15 years older in her pictures) is asked to pack up her makeup bag and go home.<br /><br />Be sure to join me next time for my ANTM recaps. <br /><br />Comments, feedback always welcome. Oh yeah, follow me on <a href="http://www.twitter.com/XanxiuZ"> Twitter</a>, too.XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-13965552531916853202011-02-28T01:37:00.000-08:002011-03-03T21:18:18.588-08:00America's Next Top Model - Cycle 16 (Episode 01)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh60oJW8vo0Ikyq9YE4h9hLzsOCDVL8ny81QBDlDrFxKGt_PK-0O2n6ARmMHIUPTNboaL-ILVqn9sJ4JoaLkHAWoGMlkYr_WxpjUrPZPDzbE-1tyRwIRjen3LgAYkQyTfpNN8fD/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-pic.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh60oJW8vo0Ikyq9YE4h9hLzsOCDVL8ny81QBDlDrFxKGt_PK-0O2n6ARmMHIUPTNboaL-ILVqn9sJ4JoaLkHAWoGMlkYr_WxpjUrPZPDzbE-1tyRwIRjen3LgAYkQyTfpNN8fD/s400/ANTM-S16E01-pic.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578679029258821138" /></a><br /><br />Oh my God, is this show still on?! *sigh* Okay. Well, as the jaded hater that I am, I feel a certain responsibility to snark about this shit. <br /><br />Don't hate the player, hate the messenger. Wait, that's not right. I really shouldn't be doing this when there's been so much spilled wine under the bed... What?<br /><br />But, I digress...<br /><br />Episode one opens with Tyra being all self-depricatey. See, what she's doing is making fun of America's Next Top Model (and by extension, HERSELF), by mocking the different types of girls who audition for the show. Oh, I see what you did, there, Ty Ty!<br /><br />There's Psycho Barbie from Texas.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUCqalfEa2fJ44NQ1-_R72cSejMuCOh0SNCkQHqwbOd3ECrqOc8NQl9klL7yyQqptBxWMfsR1GWRlMCSKDLjbgxXoVm_w1_HlSex1an6s3St7jH2oYi0TgqNP81buI_SSc9Z7r/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-psychobarbie.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUCqalfEa2fJ44NQ1-_R72cSejMuCOh0SNCkQHqwbOd3ECrqOc8NQl9klL7yyQqptBxWMfsR1GWRlMCSKDLjbgxXoVm_w1_HlSex1an6s3St7jH2oYi0TgqNP81buI_SSc9Z7r/s320/ANTM-S16E01-psychobarbie.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578679496795479986" /></a><br /><br />Bomquesha from Brooklyn.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSCb06xhyphenhypheneoZJ5yHUCsh6dsQ7Wery6uEcyKPNvgwEieM5J4eTyZRicaA2QJNqo79UbwYW8JzUZ133fCJDF2pBKa7X9U2wQqHLEjXrfEt9VDjPsXdjRgi_Q8MeMqC16PZIrliPd/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-bomqueasha.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSCb06xhyphenhypheneoZJ5yHUCsh6dsQ7Wery6uEcyKPNvgwEieM5J4eTyZRicaA2QJNqo79UbwYW8JzUZ133fCJDF2pBKa7X9U2wQqHLEjXrfEt9VDjPsXdjRgi_Q8MeMqC16PZIrliPd/s320/ANTM-S16E01-bomqueasha.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578679869827524882" /></a><br /><br />Belladonna Twilight-Sucks from A Galaxy far, far away.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLKZiGcp0q4seSOxt-49huhFr9oI0H7X4e7ox20WFc3wVS9Iv1VRM2olXDMxTOuFtuxTWA-jQZ_T5y65Y-DM9lMgm391HtORe4xpIvh_OnzkC9y6kVFEZduV9Qz9PLyVI4lsth/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-twilightsucks.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLKZiGcp0q4seSOxt-49huhFr9oI0H7X4e7ox20WFc3wVS9Iv1VRM2olXDMxTOuFtuxTWA-jQZ_T5y65Y-DM9lMgm391HtORe4xpIvh_OnzkC9y6kVFEZduV9Qz9PLyVI4lsth/s320/ANTM-S16E01-twilightsucks.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578680038498604850" /></a><br /><br />This season, they change things up a bit by eliminating casting week. Unbeknownst to the models, 14 of them have already been pre-selected for our viewing pleasure. And, those 14 models will, immediately, move into Casa De Wannabe so that they can create drama and fake lesbian tension for all the world to enjoy.<br /><br />In an attempt to teach the models about rejection, The Jays pretend that several of them did not make the cut. <br /><br />Some of the girls are all teary, sad and crying. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI3eXrWm-W5X-eypB_y0gP_t6gvrjIij2rUKb6Yjk95mJNU5UH4WRI5cW2y4pjnHN7db0tq-gr7HgDrt5EpFRYjVhjREA_XOIlb5iVigBfuPMYbBeNBCLLMwk84BJvXrt3svOD/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-crying.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI3eXrWm-W5X-eypB_y0gP_t6gvrjIij2rUKb6Yjk95mJNU5UH4WRI5cW2y4pjnHN7db0tq-gr7HgDrt5EpFRYjVhjREA_XOIlb5iVigBfuPMYbBeNBCLLMwk84BJvXrt3svOD/s320/ANTM-S16E01-crying.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578683219646621266" /></a><br /><br />It's okay, sweetie, you wouldn't have won, anyway.<br /><br />They gather all of the wannabe models together, give them each an envelope and tells them that those envelopes contain pictures. Unfortunately, not all of the girls will have pictures in their envelopes. <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />The girls who don't have pictures are going home. </span> <br /><br />In, perhaps, the cruelest, sickest, MOST AWESOME FAKEOUT IN TOP MODEL HISTORY... the girls who have pictures in their envelopes are ACTUALLY THE ONES GOING HOME! <br /><br />That is sooooo mean!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKsrn0c1FC3lqwY2GMsNHSClXh_pBy6bnSDQwJqZ_1TN1KpY6Vp__wu4Kz_BvrHaEoaEk-LOrPQFJOGmmNrOi1K5hKUDTYQh6pio2i5oXtt08IJOpi7lq3sRgry9lekOFe2RUs/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-fakeout.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKsrn0c1FC3lqwY2GMsNHSClXh_pBy6bnSDQwJqZ_1TN1KpY6Vp__wu4Kz_BvrHaEoaEk-LOrPQFJOGmmNrOi1K5hKUDTYQh6pio2i5oXtt08IJOpi7lq3sRgry9lekOFe2RUs/s400/ANTM-S16E01-fakeout.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578695747432995970" /></a><br /><br />Just look at how excited that one girl in the front is. That's about 17 different levels of wrong, but, oh. so. high-larious. <br /><br />I would love to have seen the faked out girls' reactions when they discovered that they had been hoodwinked AND bamboozled. There had to have been, at least, ONE Jerry Springer-worthy reaction.<br /><br />Ahhh well, just like it is in real life, the pretty girls get what they want. Tyra descends the staircase and lets the pretty girls in on the joke they played on the average girls. He He He.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBFgNsWSQuw6TGASrWD22UVsF2CTP4NBy-7k0nZXRCkfPpCy-ANkxa9717QmLR106DZhXmOOrkUAY-pimKYz0EK_dARAxezNGCymfjBS93MhfT4TAGUG8Dnyz5g5Jp1dZ7NXdk/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-prettygirls.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBFgNsWSQuw6TGASrWD22UVsF2CTP4NBy-7k0nZXRCkfPpCy-ANkxa9717QmLR106DZhXmOOrkUAY-pimKYz0EK_dARAxezNGCymfjBS93MhfT4TAGUG8Dnyz5g5Jp1dZ7NXdk/s400/ANTM-S16E01-prettygirls.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578698862262783090" /></a><br /><br />Everybody's all excited, screaming, jumping around like their name just got called by Bob Barker or some shit. Yeah, I know that Drew Carey is the current host of The Price is Right, but, for me, Bob Barker will always be the host of that show.<br /><br />TYRA MAIL!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMc4gQ1cfmRngeWsaPvkB0s7YDgXTcyWG5HhZx2T_QPe5UX3FOk8vOrkbUEhfJEp3TUj0apCK3jDwGTDTmW9YK_iClArgoDIzJWN1SJ1P0Aj_7yDZXgOFRqVNdww_LHMP1wWyl/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-tyramail.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 205px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMc4gQ1cfmRngeWsaPvkB0s7YDgXTcyWG5HhZx2T_QPe5UX3FOk8vOrkbUEhfJEp3TUj0apCK3jDwGTDTmW9YK_iClArgoDIzJWN1SJ1P0Aj_7yDZXgOFRqVNdww_LHMP1wWyl/s320/ANTM-S16E01-tyramail.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578707768867883746" /></a><br /><br />It really is all about Tyra, isn't it? Every picture in the house is of who? TYRA! It's Tyra's world, we are all just visiting and trying to master smizing.<br /><br />This is Hannah.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN3ty08Ljl5njA7TR3yVtlQ-_dOU0VVkoGY00IGP1Te34cOoAx-H-FdMnAPdfyATcP5P2LzdcYzEK01D_FbMnzAK5dzEqCbBk_IrCNVe6S4UDOpazc1ab6dobzdVIQjeSrmnC-/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-hannah01.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN3ty08Ljl5njA7TR3yVtlQ-_dOU0VVkoGY00IGP1Te34cOoAx-H-FdMnAPdfyATcP5P2LzdcYzEK01D_FbMnzAK5dzEqCbBk_IrCNVe6S4UDOpazc1ab6dobzdVIQjeSrmnC-/s320/ANTM-S16E01-hannah01.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578709433122829714" /></a><br /><br />Hannah is fond of rocking the double ponytail look. This is a look that I, particularly, loathe. If you are above the age of 12 and still wearing your hair in schoolgirl style ponytails, you're probably a woman who spends her summers in Thailand working as a prostitute! Stop it! It's not cute. At all!<br /><br />The models head off on their first adventure where they meet supermodel Erin Wasson. Giggity.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNSycamwUQ7Mn5QOfJXokzMUREq3IdIKp9DhjrlJjwe7w6X9qPFHJeSZqSsd20q4GI7mfuL4tFF61No8wnxnPJIY2rK-W4djxUSfIht5toK4YYYRdSHwsNTIH6w_oy4mOCQSWX/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-erinwasson.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNSycamwUQ7Mn5QOfJXokzMUREq3IdIKp9DhjrlJjwe7w6X9qPFHJeSZqSsd20q4GI7mfuL4tFF61No8wnxnPJIY2rK-W4djxUSfIht5toK4YYYRdSHwsNTIH6w_oy4mOCQSWX/s320/ANTM-S16E01-erinwasson.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578712379752950866" /></a><br /><br />She tells the girls that they are going to participate in their first runway show, get to wear shit by Alexander Wang and some jewelry from Erin's line, called Lola. <br /><br />Yes. Of course, there's a catch!<br /><br />Mr. Jay informs the models that they will be walking uphill... in the snow... with wild jackals nipping at their heels.<br /><br />Nah, they'll just be walking on a 12 inch plank... over water... in a bubble...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUWJvEacXbti2eND_gJFRnky8J3_A0Fe4_a8nE4GlH71o3sTZ7ohyphenhyphenVj0YCU7XlekjQ9VuOiq1qM5zJ9keuFSp9YukQGAV3xuRjZ2_xzz1_a8OKQqA8DTtPm6weD0ZiQvV8l_Hp/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-bubble.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUWJvEacXbti2eND_gJFRnky8J3_A0Fe4_a8nE4GlH71o3sTZ7ohyphenhyphenVj0YCU7XlekjQ9VuOiq1qM5zJ9keuFSp9YukQGAV3xuRjZ2_xzz1_a8OKQqA8DTtPm6weD0ZiQvV8l_Hp/s320/ANTM-S16E01-bubble.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578713445773696562" /></a><br /><br />Awwww, Miss Jay makes everything better and more fierce!<br /><br />This is Jaclyn, aka Baby Face.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR8gAp-URhY3tlPRpWXyF-xpnMagJ7MnKcXrtCrH8aIsBz1am81YQJ0saWgGDI-wMxAgbChXj12hgzamEzvUrCm0paH_CY_tqON_6SDzs9F8cvCQxLaJQAKe_AHUZAwOAWPZC0/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-jaclyn.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR8gAp-URhY3tlPRpWXyF-xpnMagJ7MnKcXrtCrH8aIsBz1am81YQJ0saWgGDI-wMxAgbChXj12hgzamEzvUrCm0paH_CY_tqON_6SDzs9F8cvCQxLaJQAKe_AHUZAwOAWPZC0/s320/ANTM-S16E01-jaclyn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578715507788730418" /></a><br /><br />Upon seeing the bubble, Jaclyn says: <br /><BLOCKQUOTE><i> "What if they can't get it open, and I'm stuck in that bubble for the rest of my life? Like, that went through my head a million times."</i></BLOCKQUOTE><br />If I was granted 3 wishes, all of them would be that Jaclyn gets stuck in a bubble... for the rest of her life.<br /><br />Of course, hilarity ensues as the girls try to maneuver the plank while in the bubble. You know, because people don't normally walk around in bubbles... Unless they have some crazy, rare disease where they are allergic to EVERYTHING! Then, they would, probably, need a bubble.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXNHolcoBG7P20VApuRQcDxgOAldn0k_dk-GGruVg1noJcsnpEXPZijgKP2YakDotNR1FeWwFb5ogdQPhjLb57anOnWz0lB1M2TySLH25iXDakX7jCqG2TptvCKeDb69JBr0M-/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-falldown.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 149px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXNHolcoBG7P20VApuRQcDxgOAldn0k_dk-GGruVg1noJcsnpEXPZijgKP2YakDotNR1FeWwFb5ogdQPhjLb57anOnWz0lB1M2TySLH25iXDakX7jCqG2TptvCKeDb69JBr0M-/s400/ANTM-S16E01-falldown.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578721276039524210" /></a><br /><br />What if you had to live your life in a bubble, and then, one day, you farted. That would suuuuuck!<br /><br />I swear, this show is becoming more and more like Fear Factor. In some future cycle, the models will have to eat actual food or something. That's when we'll know the show has jumped the shark.<br /><br />UH OH...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVHADzZriVXNv9maMf-YB8nXXJLJJqZNHa5zUknJrXSsP3ZuK98S08RuS-F3S0whXOVEAVZNdF_dnyy5omt_4HvZGu_y2g-Nif04ok7xyxlrnnELm_DeUkWmMQc9DS2TNR1QeY/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-doom.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVHADzZriVXNv9maMf-YB8nXXJLJJqZNHa5zUknJrXSsP3ZuK98S08RuS-F3S0whXOVEAVZNdF_dnyy5omt_4HvZGu_y2g-Nif04ok7xyxlrnnELm_DeUkWmMQc9DS2TNR1QeY/s400/ANTM-S16E01-doom.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578725531670292882" /></a><br /><br />Somebody is going home!<br /><br />This is Alexandria, aka Bossy.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpkf5VfTyioZxglS_phcE2OVKAHAwcJxCSrgKHlvFWS_c136OkzlFcacki8kTu0e7JJs1aue5plYWm0xRGDaqMopk7ACGPit0m0SIuffSNHwrYcmmbogrOcqk-dQHJ29jXfV1O/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-alexandria01.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpkf5VfTyioZxglS_phcE2OVKAHAwcJxCSrgKHlvFWS_c136OkzlFcacki8kTu0e7JJs1aue5plYWm0xRGDaqMopk7ACGPit0m0SIuffSNHwrYcmmbogrOcqk-dQHJ29jXfV1O/s320/ANTM-S16E01-alexandria01.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578726665534517794" /></a><br /><br />Alexandra is very pushy and quite confident that she is safe because of all her previous modeling experience. I love the fact that Alexandria is 21, but looks like a 35 year old bar fly. Also, I love the fact that she thinks that hat is cute.<br /><br />This is Tyra's serious face. It's her, "I'm about to take somebody's dream and dropkick it across the room" face.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6sUXsyiINI8wsgjmsycTFmRtlEfwWDA6wB3wU6C8tK26YDfLOWZ_vT8BSgixi5HTgF_mqYA-IaMUg5r5b1iErK6trp0mQ7Spz6MilvKX9n3Zg4l4Z7pOn5fIOLrFV8EM8_OOT/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-seriousface.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 248px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6sUXsyiINI8wsgjmsycTFmRtlEfwWDA6wB3wU6C8tK26YDfLOWZ_vT8BSgixi5HTgF_mqYA-IaMUg5r5b1iErK6trp0mQ7Spz6MilvKX9n3Zg4l4Z7pOn5fIOLrFV8EM8_OOT/s400/ANTM-S16E01-seriousface.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578728176915939394" /></a><br /><br />While the models were getting ready for their runway show in a bubble, there was a backstage photo shoot.<br /><br />One by one, Tyra calls each girl up to have their best photo critiqued. Tyra never misses an opportunity to show off her posing and/or smizing skills. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnDQBaOn-X37a3AzIZGptgy_zX7vkWZDr6a2zdzx6hlEidfzT7uAxIklJpDu7SjIqH0-nSxILIyIREFEjNOqOo_RMxPYQRHyFG0tcDtvWNhWnXBMYnpBhpoAg3qJmyNzS5c12e/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-tyty.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 83px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnDQBaOn-X37a3AzIZGptgy_zX7vkWZDr6a2zdzx6hlEidfzT7uAxIklJpDu7SjIqH0-nSxILIyIREFEjNOqOo_RMxPYQRHyFG0tcDtvWNhWnXBMYnpBhpoAg3qJmyNzS5c12e/s400/ANTM-S16E01-tyty.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578746629790347810" /></a><br /><br />With each critique, Tyra shows the girls how they should have posed and explains to them why they will never be successful models. <br /><br />Then, she tells them that they are all losers and will end up living in a trailer park, married to a guy named Dusty who sells meth out of the back of his Astrovan! Umm, it's entirely possible that last bit was just me projecting. <br /><br />All of the models leave the room so that the judges can talk shit about them behind their backs and decide who sucks the most.<br /><br />And the bottom two are...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfPDfrEq4YK-lOkG235jcamZSmzNL8O01g6htc9mpFmjBdGxiS_rP-gyGDayy2QLnvLivGoFSvf3hgSQnvNffweo-PzNT7fuocpOplGRzsUxVtuH9H3o-AabvR7Qy06ge9iqKM/s1600/ANTM-S16E01-bottomtwo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfPDfrEq4YK-lOkG235jcamZSmzNL8O01g6htc9mpFmjBdGxiS_rP-gyGDayy2QLnvLivGoFSvf3hgSQnvNffweo-PzNT7fuocpOplGRzsUxVtuH9H3o-AabvR7Qy06ge9iqKM/s400/ANTM-S16E01-bottomtwo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578734998224055378" /></a><br />... Angelia and Dominique! <br /><br />Sadly, Angelia is asked to pack up her makeup bag and go home. Awww, sad panda face.<br /><br />Be sure to join me every Friday for my ANTM recaps. Comments, feedback always welcome. Oh yeah, follow me on <a href="http://www.twitter.com/XanxiuZ"> Twitter</a>, too.XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-60312071293221129342010-12-29T22:36:00.001-08:002010-12-29T23:57:32.748-08:00Who Really Watches The Tonight Show with Jay Leno?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzE1t24nmcg2P27cN9H1VaDsT2SN2DGnr30y1Xnxdy4Gbt4DrNvyVuvNVlrhc-K0JVdtWwp2p9A6PZnI5ZW54lFcYqPY_a-WZF07Oj8RKGv_p8-mdNOakTAKQmmpDLPvb9uIfH/s1600/JayLeno.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzE1t24nmcg2P27cN9H1VaDsT2SN2DGnr30y1Xnxdy4Gbt4DrNvyVuvNVlrhc-K0JVdtWwp2p9A6PZnI5ZW54lFcYqPY_a-WZF07Oj8RKGv_p8-mdNOakTAKQmmpDLPvb9uIfH/s800/JayLeno.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5556380284174519266" /></a>XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-62143068669422010172010-10-16T19:20:00.000-07:002010-10-16T21:51:34.195-07:00Space Invaders and White Dudes with Goatees.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV8Kq4axi29UUANOZQcE9wmsa8nEdNfsq9nuawaeDltoZvTsu7bQY_-LnwtPhUh3CpxBX9EtjCMG0_0LA11oApHHFdWyX1y2cV3_faxTS51QkuJIBz2laWbYXbJr6PzRirW9UQ/s1600/goatee.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 282px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV8Kq4axi29UUANOZQcE9wmsa8nEdNfsq9nuawaeDltoZvTsu7bQY_-LnwtPhUh3CpxBX9EtjCMG0_0LA11oApHHFdWyX1y2cV3_faxTS51QkuJIBz2laWbYXbJr6PzRirW9UQ/s400/goatee.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528849792178232130" /></a><br />I have no idea what it is, but every single time I get hit on by a white dude, he has a goatee. I seem to attract a specific type, too. The kind that look like weekend bikers. You know, those guys who are tax paying, corporate citizens during the week, but wants to go all badass on the weekends? The guy, who at first glance, you might think is a member of some skinhead group? Yeah, that guy. <br /><br />I was at the grocery store earlier today, minding my own damn business, when this white dude with a goatee walks up and stands real close to me. Too close to me. There was, maybe, six inches of space between us. <br /><br />Generally speaking, I'm one of those people who doesn't like it when people take liberties. Standing too close to me, making assumptions about certain things, being too familiar with me, etc. Space invaders annoy me even more than chronic door holders. Oh, don't get me started on people who hold doors open for you when you're still in the damn parking lot! Forces you to break into a fucking sprint to get to the door, 'ya know, 'cause you don't want to inconvenience the damn door holder! Selfish bastards! <br /><br />Anyway... <br /><br />As I'm making my way to one of the open self checkout lanes, I glance at goatee dude because he was in my line of sight. I guess, to him, that meant go stand uncomfortably close to this woman who, obviously, has no interest in you, whatsoever, and try to pick her up.<br /><br />I see him coming towards me, so, I quickly look away in the hope that he will get the message and just move the fuck on. In fact, I was still walking when he placed himself in my path, and extended his hand. Using his best "I'm a white dude trying to sound like a cool black dude" voice, he said, "pretty sistas get to go first." Okay, first of all, that sounds EXACTLY like something a serial killer would say. Secondly, there were two open checkouts, so, it's not like he was letting me use his checkout. CREEPY! <br /><br />I was so taken aback at how close he was standing to me, that, what he said didn't immediately register. Then, I thought about it and the first thing that came to mind was that episode of Martin where he goes to his 10th year high school reunion to confront his high school nemesis, Ricky Fontaine, "Pretty Ricky what they call 'em." This made me smile, which goatee dude probably misconstrued as a green light, not that he needed any encouragement. He was super confident and all up in my shit.<br /><br />When he extended his hand, I reached out to shake it, 'ya know, 'cause I'm generally not a rude person. I was going for a quick hand shake, but he held my hand as he introduced himself and asked if I'd like to have coffee with him. I smiled that polite, fake smile that we all do from time to time and told him that I was a gay lady... that I only "had coffee" with the ladies. Not missing a beat, he said, "that's cool, we can still hang out." In my mind, I'm like, why would I want to do that? I, politely, declined in that, "thank you for offering, but, no, I would not like any croutons," kind of way.<br /><br />At this point, I just wanted to pay for my shit and go. I was done being polite to this fucker and felt my irritation level rising. So, after declining for the second time, I just walked away from him, paid for my groceries and left.<br /><br />On the drive home, I started thinking about my encounter with goatee dude and what I took away from it. The one thing I know for sure is that, "Pretty sistas get to go first" is a line that I, absolutely, have to work into a conversation... perhaps, the next time I am at the DMV, I will walk to the front of the line, turn around and proudly proclaim, PRETTY SISTAS GET TO GO FIRST!XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-27306785660212755632010-07-30T01:05:00.000-07:002010-07-30T02:00:05.891-07:00The thing about being unemployed is...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigLxFF_TDszxfoHB66JbZnFZcXZeQqIrufUyIWPm0MRzqIvGvsvfjqToIYJkaKMc_2Ai4-RxPQRh5DdQT36QFbvvizQY0wNCkbQacXU37paYPttDuni6RrvVyWcG9LYDt2hFok/s1600/unemployed.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigLxFF_TDszxfoHB66JbZnFZcXZeQqIrufUyIWPm0MRzqIvGvsvfjqToIYJkaKMc_2Ai4-RxPQRh5DdQT36QFbvvizQY0wNCkbQacXU37paYPttDuni6RrvVyWcG9LYDt2hFok/s400/unemployed.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5499610631342415650" border="0" /></a> ... Beyond feeling like a complete failure at life and a hobo, you have waaaaay too much free time on your hands. I'm the type of person who does not manage idle time well, at all. My mind wanders, I get distracted by cool stuff, etc. Basically, I want to do things when I feel like doing them AND get paid for it. But, that shit is not conducive to any kind of productivity.<br /><br />I expressed this to my mom the other day, and she blurts out, "it's not too late to become a criminal. Criminals don't have schedules. Remember when you used to steal quarters out of my purse?" Geez, I can't believe that she's still bitter about a few quarters. Let it go, mom, let it go!<br /><br />This morning, I spent 20 minutes trying to telepathically will an empty toilet paper tube into the garbage. I'm pretty sure that I saw it move, just a smidge. Either I have burgeoning telepathic powers or that ant that I lost sight of was trapped underneath the tube, fighting for its life. <br /><br />You know what would be awesome?! If I just showed up at my old job, dressed as the one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and just started chatting people up and firing off imaginary emails. I wonder how long it would take for someone to say something to the weird Ninja Turtle loitering in the break room, sipping coffee while smoking a cigar and a cigarette at the same time?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8hO_b4y3NtbTvwBi_uALMnFvSGpCOQEWr8DOH2WTrutUR2ePXHzWzZrXtjoNdLc0k9iEyMIknnjhunHxvE-xa1BzephXCkb2I9P7LRse9Ixsuk2BX8uN3pBwKtXXuvrjl2k5S/s1600/tmnt.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 376px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8hO_b4y3NtbTvwBi_uALMnFvSGpCOQEWr8DOH2WTrutUR2ePXHzWzZrXtjoNdLc0k9iEyMIknnjhunHxvE-xa1BzephXCkb2I9P7LRse9Ixsuk2BX8uN3pBwKtXXuvrjl2k5S/s400/tmnt.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5499615747987994370" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The people at my old job are pretty much non-confrontational hippy types, so, they probably wouldn't do anything until I left for lunch.XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-57110513793999333752009-11-18T15:32:00.000-08:002009-11-18T18:08:46.051-08:00Rose Nylund 'bout to regulate up in this bitch!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYdPMLvn3-k8F56gHdLmHL773bAyHFVyC2fyORWty9CauzYD6qnsuwRJqiDxykPnYryR4dVQH8MeTisNfxJ_uTuC1mzlEFokxciJ5M5vfm0YaxQdbmsgujmnW6I0gzJwJ4B2ru/s1600/betty-white.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYdPMLvn3-k8F56gHdLmHL773bAyHFVyC2fyORWty9CauzYD6qnsuwRJqiDxykPnYryR4dVQH8MeTisNfxJ_uTuC1mzlEFokxciJ5M5vfm0YaxQdbmsgujmnW6I0gzJwJ4B2ru/s400/betty-white.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5405590912066982610" /></a><br /><br />This snapshot is from that lost episode of the Golden Girls where Rose just starts pistol whippin' mofos for no good, goddamn reason!XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-36362747253349167282009-10-29T08:10:00.000-07:002009-10-30T11:02:07.779-07:00Am I the only GAY who doesn't watch GLEE?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg81AgiyPlHWH3Fdb0s2MdRW8suCHYF0e2Kl2Nfjrlz-NfNpvKljLniZUp_5HepKeHLW-nKxRAozTsWLq4PmLbe3tFKDs5KWNoSAhsDUB2EI6L5mdfqh6sRkZrp5xHN5lKJaPeC/s1600-h/gleee.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg81AgiyPlHWH3Fdb0s2MdRW8suCHYF0e2Kl2Nfjrlz-NfNpvKljLniZUp_5HepKeHLW-nKxRAozTsWLq4PmLbe3tFKDs5KWNoSAhsDUB2EI6L5mdfqh6sRkZrp5xHN5lKJaPeC/s320/gleee.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5398454639458769890" /></a><br />I feel like I'm the only gay on the planet who's not crazy in love with Glee. I recall being, somewhat, excited about the show several months ago. The promos looked fun, kind of Fame meets Freaks and Geeks. I was, sort of, intrigued. I say sort of because, well, I suspected there would be rampant lip singing and that concerned me. With some reservations, I watched the pilot of Glee.<br /><br /><center>Me whenever Jane Lynch was on screen: </center><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3kQmw_fMSXsnYh4pTH_1_HN5ca39b2JkTEAhaynEKIN4eWyGYoT2uWxi4IlIdWo2PyJvA9hSnoZH6EZFQ-9DbPihOHZ8_tQ3bj58OpshQcnyule6Sn9pEu8j4qnzPxzH_NV0g/s1600-h/thumbsuphappyface0.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 172px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3kQmw_fMSXsnYh4pTH_1_HN5ca39b2JkTEAhaynEKIN4eWyGYoT2uWxi4IlIdWo2PyJvA9hSnoZH6EZFQ-9DbPihOHZ8_tQ3bj58OpshQcnyule6Sn9pEu8j4qnzPxzH_NV0g/s200/thumbsuphappyface0.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5398452944819107410" /></a><br /><center>Me whenever there was wanton lip singing: </center><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtWzZfVnosyWDG0gu4Xn9aFL2urQEkov3jx2oTHqId60_hJGFtZYpQwxE7gbgx0SeshOs9rEEO81c6ZKXi0k3BsCc3JISWnBqg___hPdKwYHvgl_Rde93mcFcDGAxVyNwi62jN/s1600-h/SadFace0.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 172px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtWzZfVnosyWDG0gu4Xn9aFL2urQEkov3jx2oTHqId60_hJGFtZYpQwxE7gbgx0SeshOs9rEEO81c6ZKXi0k3BsCc3JISWnBqg___hPdKwYHvgl_Rde93mcFcDGAxVyNwi62jN/s200/SadFace0.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5398447810306465026" /></a><br />See, I'm one of those rare people who is actually allergic to lip singing, and by extension, lip singers. I have a visceral response. When I witness people lip singing, I have, what can only be described as an Incredible Hulk like reaction. Okay, maybe more like Teen Wolf after some extensive electrolysis. I get this overwhelming urge to repeatedly punch the annoying lip singer square in their mug, while screaming, "Cut it out! That's not you singing! Stop moving your mouth, you bastard!"<br /><br />Let me explain.<br /><br />My hatred of lip singing began several years ago. I was a music director for a radio station and we did lots and lots of live events, hanging out at clubs, etc. This particular night, it was kind of a team bonding thing. Ya' know, one of those, "hey, let's all go and hang out together for a bit of forced socializing. It'll be awkwardly fun, sort of." <br /><br />So, we all decide to meet up at this bar/lounge. I walk in and am instantly uncomfortable. There are way too many people wearing cowboy hats and belt buckles the size of a six month old baby's head.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmh15HBGjxW-gtrclgHnQeFRbrIEp8e03CjhY6jRQ8lfuUu-DUCs0cAxNMRGV7IerJPsohzXM1-7IUIc1z2JxZGqCCHtNjAe_LoeWskt21MSmvAnlyylZWk3QVt17rCSPlal-h/s1600-h/cowboys.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 181px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmh15HBGjxW-gtrclgHnQeFRbrIEp8e03CjhY6jRQ8lfuUu-DUCs0cAxNMRGV7IerJPsohzXM1-7IUIc1z2JxZGqCCHtNjAe_LoeWskt21MSmvAnlyylZWk3QVt17rCSPlal-h/s400/cowboys.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5398426082094770498" /></a><br /><br />As I'm wandering around, in search of my co-workers, I hear the haunting refrains of one of my favorite songs. I'm starting to feel a bit better about the night out with my co-worker peeps. Unfortunately, my mood quickly changes when I turn around and see some odd looking, fat dude up on stage lip singing Alice In Chains' "Would."<br /><br />My first impulse was to jump up on stage, get the fat dude in a headlock and rabbit punch him until be began to speak French. Then, beat him some more until he had spoken several other foreign languages. But, because I'm a fuckin' lady, I didn't do that! Also, I was, like, the only brown person in that bar and probably would have been beaten to death by all the scary hillbilly types.<br /><br />I managed to endure another thirty minutes of drunk, overly animated lip singing. I was treated to everything from "Spirit in the Sky" to some country shit that I had never heard before. Finally, having taken as much as I could, I pretended that I had been stabbed, stumbled out of the bar to my car and sped away from that bar as if I had stolen something.<br /><br />Long story short, I don't like lip singing. <br /><br />Note to the gay mafia: Please don't take away my gay privileges as I really enjoy being gay and stuff, I just don't like Glee... or show tunes or flannel. Also, not too fond of Liza. *cough*XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-1215695351288397512009-10-17T03:37:00.001-07:002009-10-18T18:28:53.136-07:00America's Next Top Model: Cycle 13(Ep#7) - Fierce Little Ninjas!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2HLMVOLndLtRXGpx_oC8BEpeKBVV2iBp9Na6_8HQr4RL81jf_iO1dyVsIH6guxXqvvESxqny1ULMR8JV7bCqTSm73C8lRKI1PCQpuJgeWbiPnaAZ1pTGyMT_u_8It59wOCl5s/s1600-h/antm_lg7.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2HLMVOLndLtRXGpx_oC8BEpeKBVV2iBp9Na6_8HQr4RL81jf_iO1dyVsIH6guxXqvvESxqny1ULMR8JV7bCqTSm73C8lRKI1PCQpuJgeWbiPnaAZ1pTGyMT_u_8It59wOCl5s/s400/antm_lg7.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393752949251976658" border="0"></a><br /><br />Previously on America's Next Top Model... Somebody got sent home.<br /><br />The snarkfest begins with Nicole being upset because she doesn't think her personality is shining through. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij2dyLGWILgLn51NqgVKeRbR5AJ6_dJAnEGD1bEZggyvWidH9I9OXrhJ_drTYTf5nBMUHMTfwBs6YQUNhHJAT1BIm3FwbDQLLioaJ8k1zHCHZg44xuRYMCxhkCJg4bcXB8b7Fz/s1600-h/nicolesad.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij2dyLGWILgLn51NqgVKeRbR5AJ6_dJAnEGD1bEZggyvWidH9I9OXrhJ_drTYTf5nBMUHMTfwBs6YQUNhHJAT1BIm3FwbDQLLioaJ8k1zHCHZg44xuRYMCxhkCJg4bcXB8b7Fz/s400/nicolesad.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393842684906984306" /></a><br /><br />In fact, Tyra told her that she had "lost all of her magic." Nicole is determined to change that and show us her real personality... Someday.<br /><br />Meanwhile, in another room, Kara - using her pre-op tranny voice - tells the rest <br />of the modelettes that she's now casting for her new musical, "America's Next Top Model: The Musical" <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnoh0D1X3qbuJ8ZSJ2l9DXQRiinpQGlfAqCT_0IWU2yC1uydhToZJLdqJeuOEjGYV7S6NBauXjJrK0mJAdr1nHvv0xldoyzW_etdsm_JOzIk27W1jiozB5jUMQafRX4qN6xCEp/s1600-h/karatranny.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnoh0D1X3qbuJ8ZSJ2l9DXQRiinpQGlfAqCT_0IWU2yC1uydhToZJLdqJeuOEjGYV7S6NBauXjJrK0mJAdr1nHvv0xldoyzW_etdsm_JOzIk27W1jiozB5jUMQafRX4qN6xCEp/s400/karatranny.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393824471565495826" border="0"></a><br /><br />Doesn't she know that Tyra will cut a bitch for messin' with any of Bankable Productions' shit?<br /><br />The uber blonde girl get's up to "audition" for the new musical, and basically, makes fun of the fact that Laura is from the country and, quite possibly, a hillbilly.<br /><br /><center><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwNuH5KSnZrMpy0hhWUj_RtKsDkCALsFzOWYnXmG_TRybw86YAUQYdE2apvS1RBPNdc5oC9uZFmRas' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /></center><br /><br />Laura's a good sport and smiles through uber blondy's singing imitation of her. But, you just know that she's gonna put in a call to her uncle, Papa Jupiter, so that uber blonde girl can be dealt with, post-haste!<br /><br />After the girls have sufficiently calmed down after receiving, yet, another piece <br />of Tyra mail!, the mean bitches decide that it's time to talk trash about Nicole... Again.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_GjqEi2Y-lN_YMqtReaP_oou5lKYHpy-NjRPc1n0hJCJBfWx96y-Ul0eysu2jKRaRr54T0SYEEMiyXq_tnHSJf7OjjJ10Ty1J8GS8HnvBbSzFPoq1nmo4uj9E17fHCQHFhiJx/s1600-h/meangirls2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_GjqEi2Y-lN_YMqtReaP_oou5lKYHpy-NjRPc1n0hJCJBfWx96y-Ul0eysu2jKRaRr54T0SYEEMiyXq_tnHSJf7OjjJ10Ty1J8GS8HnvBbSzFPoq1nmo4uj9E17fHCQHFhiJx/s400/meangirls2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393826905124082210" border="0"></a><br /><blockquote><br />Kara: We should just vote Nicole off the island.<br />Rae: It's not her lack of social skills, it's a <br />lack of feeling... It's a lack of soul. <br />Kara: She has the social graces of a fetus. <br /></blockquote><br />The mean girls all cackle in unison.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEHU2oD-UX2G7bs1V9nBSfhohHpFHEGnuEGXjQ0IkK727bal_9c-cm-19BTnJUIXLIcyjJxra3PA31Qf1ai28IZ8El6wqEzxG91yqHQINbq3UBNcTF9DUUGt30eaqsmNkGW1xz/s1600-h/cacklingbitches.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEHU2oD-UX2G7bs1V9nBSfhohHpFHEGnuEGXjQ0IkK727bal_9c-cm-19BTnJUIXLIcyjJxra3PA31Qf1ai28IZ8El6wqEzxG91yqHQINbq3UBNcTF9DUUGt30eaqsmNkGW1xz/s400/cacklingbitches.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393827131527920786" border="0"></a><br /><br />Okay, even though I kind of loathe Kara, that social graces of a fetus comment <br />was priceless and I will be using it!<br /><br />Moving on...<br /><br />The girls head off to revisit the Wilhelmina Modeling Agency to meet up with Wilhelmina CEO, Sean Patterson. Sean is standing next to, yet, another supermodel named Lauren Shiohama.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe9DZunfupXtGXK6cWdT_sIofUGK8zIIjCah2hlvsy3hDT0j7owfwfyjN_JkexPpFU5afam1w8BsMfBAybaG0oAoUE7WKrFcK4dzXlgmq56d5kk0zam7MZxrxVsxGZCFQqZ4PU/s1600-h/seanp&lauren.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe9DZunfupXtGXK6cWdT_sIofUGK8zIIjCah2hlvsy3hDT0j7owfwfyjN_JkexPpFU5afam1w8BsMfBAybaG0oAoUE7WKrFcK4dzXlgmq56d5kk0zam7MZxrxVsxGZCFQqZ4PU/s400/seanp&lauren.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393830155658363442" border="0"></a><br /><br />Sean tells the modelettes that they are about to experience "a day in the life <br />of a real working model." <br /><br />The girls are informed that they are all going on go-sees to meet potential clients. The girls will meet with fashion designers and casting directors <br />for their auditions.<br /><br />They are broken up into teams of two, given their own car to get around LA in <br />and a map. This shit has Lucy and Ethel written all over it.<br /><br />The girls race around LA from trying to complete all five go-sees within four hours.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhydpRIgS3-Um6MYEO-IbCCM8S7uLNZXZXwk1vcvcVXYWkm3WYqP4xeViaeNW-js1E937EV5azEIH0JMzb3seG1QMxJyGTiZPdgBWMv_VToRqDyP2wLZFGPH9NBvelakbmN1_Hn/s1600-h/cars.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhydpRIgS3-Um6MYEO-IbCCM8S7uLNZXZXwk1vcvcVXYWkm3WYqP4xeViaeNW-js1E937EV5azEIH0JMzb3seG1QMxJyGTiZPdgBWMv_VToRqDyP2wLZFGPH9NBvelakbmN1_Hn/s400/cars.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393833441035585986" border="0"></a><br /><br />There's not as much go-see drama as on previous seasons, unfortunately. In fact, they all play rather well together. Boring!<br /><br />The fashion designers and casting directors have various critiques for the girls, ranging from positive to just mean.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZg5Vf_MDqT-nJPD-RElIbgNlrUF7wlOUXSs-1dGFBlz561ggU3Jwk2nNxU1v08Q7EHmGsNZsbz3yveyRfKWzSatIFnacFKqqBBVWG89gAebKuxh7KGcDBRrt04Z8Jpw6_UQpe/s1600-h/moversshakers.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZg5Vf_MDqT-nJPD-RElIbgNlrUF7wlOUXSs-1dGFBlz561ggU3Jwk2nNxU1v08Q7EHmGsNZsbz3yveyRfKWzSatIFnacFKqqBBVWG89gAebKuxh7KGcDBRrt04Z8Jpw6_UQpe/s400/moversshakers.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393849443876507682" /></a><br /><br />Nicole gets really good feedback while Kara, not so much. One of the designers <br />said that Kara did not look well put together and that her hair looked greasy. Another designer described her as "scruffy". That can't be good.<br /><br />In front of the casting director's, the girls are asked if they do any accents. Laura's was my favorite. She described it as "hoodrat" but it's more like a Gaelic hoodrat.<br /><center><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwQemkazklo5iqmBpWnzQDVWOlKfrrxCEw-Ws7UD25G6pH3gyJx5MkqJpX5i-DWTEzsFoth0mqnkw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /></center><br /><br />One of the casting directors had this to say about Sundai...<br /><blockquote><br />Casting Director: Sundai, she's very limited in what she can give us, so it<br />would have to be for a very specific job calling for what Sundai can offer.<br /></blockquote><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieEpN8nb1cun9azSY2PehPe4cOkGtfmgB28cA7L-j7R7qqYWHuHId-7lC_2qHbGT-ztUNkr7aSQkoitW5xMmkbh1SDAFtv4RGKVUYOtXbeovXzzvVY_1grpn6yuNPAE3dVulTC/s1600-h/castingdirector.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieEpN8nb1cun9azSY2PehPe4cOkGtfmgB28cA7L-j7R7qqYWHuHId-7lC_2qHbGT-ztUNkr7aSQkoitW5xMmkbh1SDAFtv4RGKVUYOtXbeovXzzvVY_1grpn6yuNPAE3dVulTC/s400/castingdirector.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393832247050803218" border="0"></a><br /><blockquote>Translation: If we are casting for a Kool-Aid or Popeye's chicken commercial, we will consider Sundai. <br /></blockquote><br />As they were driving around LA with their maps, I found myself really hoping<br />that one of the teams would get lost in East LA. Ohhh, what fun that would<br />be to see.<br /><br />All of the teams make it back to Wilhelmina in time except Rae and Sundai.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBbk-6Q1VXUl5p01xhMmotmJXmocw8uaPZFW9smvQh4PCziU8hG4Y62_QYKI0Mnql1yuFYuWqTd7Mhpk6p9ACSULoW0_xyLx7pXCZ9Ts6KRF2r6ESTc4ZFKBrvJFE7b_KWrWhl/s1600-h/latemodels.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBbk-6Q1VXUl5p01xhMmotmJXmocw8uaPZFW9smvQh4PCziU8hG4Y62_QYKI0Mnql1yuFYuWqTd7Mhpk6p9ACSULoW0_xyLx7pXCZ9Ts6KRF2r6ESTc4ZFKBrvJFE7b_KWrWhl/s400/latemodels.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393833192219103218" border="0"></a><br /><br />Sean P. is not amused that Rae and Sundai were late getting back. He reads them the riot act and tells them to leave the room and he'll deal with them later.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzi4Ocxl8XU4CvVLkq9xN8ZjLKLJcbvbbvLnMK_etjEueFYjGJlFjuKAdNQ1IASMZz6KynSU2OyEVih34xOLFISk0YmLNKrq1xiUZ9ppKyMpycA26cx_ejwx-kGs3b6fYNXcAI/s1600-h/seanmad.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzi4Ocxl8XU4CvVLkq9xN8ZjLKLJcbvbbvLnMK_etjEueFYjGJlFjuKAdNQ1IASMZz6KynSU2OyEVih34xOLFISk0YmLNKrq1xiUZ9ppKyMpycA26cx_ejwx-kGs3b6fYNXcAI/s400/seanmad.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393833803294372866" border="0"></a><br /><br />The expression on his face never really changes and he doesn't raise his voice, <br />but, I'm pretty sure that he is kind of pissed.<br /><br />Sean and Lauren give the modelettes their feedback and then reveal the winner... <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXBGCn0q7f3VTPhSagPG3FCcDk5-KzBC8MPmRH9fXD3TF2HGicm2DBLH_QVEoK1eFHPND-WY-DsZzI3ngo1Ea7Y-w9tl_sCwD3sjZXQuzNzK-ZY__wpcUHPOaKo4Tw4ElTiC8C/s1600-h/nicolewinner.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXBGCn0q7f3VTPhSagPG3FCcDk5-KzBC8MPmRH9fXD3TF2HGicm2DBLH_QVEoK1eFHPND-WY-DsZzI3ngo1Ea7Y-w9tl_sCwD3sjZXQuzNzK-ZY__wpcUHPOaKo4Tw4ElTiC8C/s400/nicolewinner.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393834211704441602" border="0"></a><br /><br />Back at the ranch, all the girls gather around Nicole and her lovely prizes from <br />the last challenge.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXyVgAuqAuHWwo4j-eUHBjPYcfhXtJt1nIOgzDFoQOfYWc2gTMzUrcpamMHdA8JQZFugWx_8R-GjRreOnpVBuy4ciN3_FNwagsefXQFIusdHNuJ4RL7415shSlDOFDlEPDn2Kt/s1600-h/nicolesprizes2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXyVgAuqAuHWwo4j-eUHBjPYcfhXtJt1nIOgzDFoQOfYWc2gTMzUrcpamMHdA8JQZFugWx_8R-GjRreOnpVBuy4ciN3_FNwagsefXQFIusdHNuJ4RL7415shSlDOFDlEPDn2Kt/s400/nicolesprizes2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393834562624572290" border="0"></a><br /><br />One of the uber blonde girls says, "they might have just wanted you to win." <br />Without missing a beat, Nicole shoots back, "no, I earned this." And that, <br />ladies and gentlemen, is how you shut down a jealous beotch.<br /><br />Speaking of jealous beotches...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb0ax-NWdFb0FtXBMIbeBqwn5nFNK-XGOH42ImxvlsUsKyooFq24MYeCtQCvgfvYRO5St5WlFI-VccA1OnWTg0dSQz91-G7QMv4eoU8w4uECfHIYQTD_DK9ZYvCLkfuZMJqhMd/s1600-h/beotches.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb0ax-NWdFb0FtXBMIbeBqwn5nFNK-XGOH42ImxvlsUsKyooFq24MYeCtQCvgfvYRO5St5WlFI-VccA1OnWTg0dSQz91-G7QMv4eoU8w4uECfHIYQTD_DK9ZYvCLkfuZMJqhMd/s400/beotches.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393835064956222786" border="0"></a><br /><br />Kara and Sundai resume their "we hate Nicole" trash talking fest. Kara is still having difficulty understanding why Nicole is doing so well and she is not.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx_QUJnxT27oM1_bv-3kwRSYIv9_kn1bzG3RgfNgsj2Q4bPpKrUh68vlQNNryDZLBWitbEd5Tc56FwZ0VaNOYgVodnZUWpSN2uXiyiQgi7SNm1feRFM38PTa5tM8afxwYorF-V/s1600-h/karagreasy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx_QUJnxT27oM1_bv-3kwRSYIv9_kn1bzG3RgfNgsj2Q4bPpKrUh68vlQNNryDZLBWitbEd5Tc56FwZ0VaNOYgVodnZUWpSN2uXiyiQgi7SNm1feRFM38PTa5tM8afxwYorF-V/s400/karagreasy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393835546457609282" border="0"></a><br /><br />Hmm, yeah... I wonder why you're not doing better in this competition either. <br />Hmm, yeah.<br /><br />TYRA MAIL!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6taHMW8kSD_ncWHiKwaYEmLDCu63rWhPH7HwmIA56QAobOs2cJ0KbtCYxubcIDLWUo-R2j14VbUqvmQHzCvukzjEAjYGPDjaHYrtMhIJSVn5ggDXtHYwAus2eZBfm4rQOBjzi/s1600-h/tyramail2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6taHMW8kSD_ncWHiKwaYEmLDCu63rWhPH7HwmIA56QAobOs2cJ0KbtCYxubcIDLWUo-R2j14VbUqvmQHzCvukzjEAjYGPDjaHYrtMhIJSVn5ggDXtHYwAus2eZBfm4rQOBjzi/s400/tyramail2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393835934725730434" border="0"></a><br /><br />The girls head off to a martial arts studio to learn the ways of martial artistness and how to use weapons... while up on a wire! <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo5tIMCqtvPN8qafORt2lCE0yRE67n1voecY-lmA1_AezL06VmHs2vmaQN2cPJpV9fRKrSuGuT3BcbmPWPd0ZFs2o-CDNwusxEpRhxw-URb_fGySj7S06chNUOdkRsSJgptIUt/s1600-h/weapons.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo5tIMCqtvPN8qafORt2lCE0yRE67n1voecY-lmA1_AezL06VmHs2vmaQN2cPJpV9fRKrSuGuT3BcbmPWPd0ZFs2o-CDNwusxEpRhxw-URb_fGySj7S06chNUOdkRsSJgptIUt/s400/weapons.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393836266753925970" border="0"></a><br /><br />I'll be honest, I kind of lost interest at this point. <br /><br />Because I believe that video ALWAYS enhances an experience, here's one of Nicole critiquing Kara's smokey eye makeup. My favorite part of this clip is Sundai's reaction at the end.<br /><br /><center><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxUXC1epIir5QCaf0csyXuHzU_pOLHvzTSDd1UFxtk5cz7gNqyOrQl-Bkb4xdDojlNWbBrK2GLz9wA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /></center><br /><br />Back at the crib, the girls are comparing bruises they all got from wearing the martial arts harness.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAXmBoYQsak63Yr4e4RB7HN8VsDU062K4frHfPnakFmxpPjVQS685Nmm6G2DIDBzzsTllv8aXt-lamCzt5dZFl_5i-CULZ79eIY9WojbFjkNlzUoypbhlNdEDv_O6qNMN9rn9k/s1600-h/bruises.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAXmBoYQsak63Yr4e4RB7HN8VsDU062K4frHfPnakFmxpPjVQS685Nmm6G2DIDBzzsTllv8aXt-lamCzt5dZFl_5i-CULZ79eIY9WojbFjkNlzUoypbhlNdEDv_O6qNMN9rn9k/s400/bruises.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393837378536709618" /></a><br /><br />Why does the word 'harness' conjure up so many dirty thoughts? yeah, right, it's just me.<br /><br />Sundai is concerned that she may be the one sent home because she knows that her performance at the last shoot sucked, PLUS, she pissed off Sean Patterson by being late back from her go-sees.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhczHuYawHnKGhLTi7fOdO9UOgwJmFAT0b-OSbndlB41yC-J4P67H9HIEm3f_G2nKMaJzvvOtw-0ALS52x1xexkbZXkz098BGSXak-19nTOwR7x7WT_SRSwMWsVG5I_sW1BxFu6/s1600-h/sundai07.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhczHuYawHnKGhLTi7fOdO9UOgwJmFAT0b-OSbndlB41yC-J4P67H9HIEm3f_G2nKMaJzvvOtw-0ALS52x1xexkbZXkz098BGSXak-19nTOwR7x7WT_SRSwMWsVG5I_sW1BxFu6/s400/sundai07.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393837700940160290" /></a> <br /><br />The next morning is judgment day and one of the girls will no longer be in the running to be America's Next Top Model.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1luzeo40rxCI5RmwJjiueendT4fIzGhcMdNyX9lMLVPdipOabe2F9nER6bzrht9com2WJFMliJX1xF2Q2A9iWkc14LSjIIxEk3DtradDMPttjk9o2JVawcjciaqob055p-gpO/s1600-h/judging.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1luzeo40rxCI5RmwJjiueendT4fIzGhcMdNyX9lMLVPdipOabe2F9nER6bzrht9com2WJFMliJX1xF2Q2A9iWkc14LSjIIxEk3DtradDMPttjk9o2JVawcjciaqob055p-gpO/s400/judging.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393837912408116658" /></a><br /><br />The guest judge this week is supermodel Jessica White. Jessica is hot and you can tell that she knows it.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcSMu62kxb-NyZ7ALUGtm1dZLW5YKbfv5a78hPSNcskxQb8NYil73qVotHBcq6PhHahbaZ08XABlYQuzN-Ej33Hqsk4dHcEeCnP3znDv_8DwN8uaRr7HpO2XVwcjCO9_eJAfiY/s1600-h/jessicawhite.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcSMu62kxb-NyZ7ALUGtm1dZLW5YKbfv5a78hPSNcskxQb8NYil73qVotHBcq6PhHahbaZ08XABlYQuzN-Ej33Hqsk4dHcEeCnP3znDv_8DwN8uaRr7HpO2XVwcjCO9_eJAfiY/s400/jessicawhite.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393838265284035778" /></a><br /><br />The girls are super impressed that Jessica has been in the SI Swimsuit edition <br />seven times.<br /><br />Each girl strolls up and has their picture critiqued by the judges. Then they <br />all leave so the judges can decide which one of them sucks the most.<br /><br />I love Tyra's serious face as she's about to take the hopes and dreams of some poor delusional young girl and crush them.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRWTUg_bYobxtDRLzMUWFCP2ZwL5AuM441-Mii0l_F2w95hyxRBF-_bHVGrONcyO2PyOVUkk0ntPakmm9TOc2V7c9cv-RYkV-8rJvFXAKcubewr8Q8W6zU1kWs2CZApvPjpLrk/s1600-h/tyraserious.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRWTUg_bYobxtDRLzMUWFCP2ZwL5AuM441-Mii0l_F2w95hyxRBF-_bHVGrONcyO2PyOVUkk0ntPakmm9TOc2V7c9cv-RYkV-8rJvFXAKcubewr8Q8W6zU1kWs2CZApvPjpLrk/s400/tyraserious.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393838608768509922" /></a><br /><br />Nicole wins best picture of the week. The two modelettes who suck the most are...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ijajTJHBxBjDcVIPUs3W7jkKVueVSpm63fJq0-4oKhC80C1FbRPITkREAqmED8hPRy-tV697aap0uy2nLpEcCskbJuk0BzRuF1w2jq4-IZn4DtIDU-aURDPdff_mIKnWGrVT/s1600-h/bottom2-.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ijajTJHBxBjDcVIPUs3W7jkKVueVSpm63fJq0-4oKhC80C1FbRPITkREAqmED8hPRy-tV697aap0uy2nLpEcCskbJuk0BzRuF1w2jq4-IZn4DtIDU-aURDPdff_mIKnWGrVT/s400/bottom2-.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393839469826297730" /></a><br /><br />No surprise that Kara and Sundai are in the bottom two this week. Tyra laments <br />that Kara has a great face but no passion. Sundai is the underdog but needs to <br />be more versatile.<br /><br />So, who's going home this week?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIzkPS2FBL3UTo5hDygUiA5NPaprd0KOEHdlGpPtYYmhq941Adv2LDxJVH86D1QyA85ntNSQsLj1zz4I0bxLFpTd6nzZ1T-HwlV4-2mNNW4FaEkt2YiQXrzae6i_nQ3XKibDmR/s1600-h/karasad.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIzkPS2FBL3UTo5hDygUiA5NPaprd0KOEHdlGpPtYYmhq941Adv2LDxJVH86D1QyA85ntNSQsLj1zz4I0bxLFpTd6nzZ1T-HwlV4-2mNNW4FaEkt2YiQXrzae6i_nQ3XKibDmR/s400/karasad.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393839852091550338" /></a><br /><br />Kara is asked to pack up her makeup bag and go. Even though Kara was definitely <br />not my favorite, for a variety of reasons, I felt kind of bad for her at the end.<br /><br />Ahh well, that's life in the big city, kids. Be sure to join me every Saturday <br />for a new snark infested, fun-filled ANTM recappery.XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-988885717382281702009-10-11T22:54:00.000-07:002009-10-12T01:16:31.015-07:00America's Next Top Model: Cycle 13(Ep#6) - Let's Dance!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCKUj9WmcweZwL6_zNGcnSdY4mxRCVj5x208-gHPMdLPzXtEXLc5zo8RnTBuBIOyc9t-LN-ZglaI_9g7L0JYOiy9YvcyyajNGZqVVTsPmeSPjMlyjPdC1ebTUPsfgORLez_12y/s1600-h/antm_lg6.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 261px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCKUj9WmcweZwL6_zNGcnSdY4mxRCVj5x208-gHPMdLPzXtEXLc5zo8RnTBuBIOyc9t-LN-ZglaI_9g7L0JYOiy9YvcyyajNGZqVVTsPmeSPjMlyjPdC1ebTUPsfgORLez_12y/s400/antm_lg6.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391608285129801090" /></a><br /><br />Hey kids, it's time for another snark filled recap of America's Next Top Model: The wee girls...<br /><br />I know this is late, but, but... I have a life 'ya know? Okay, I really don't, I was just being kind of lazy this week. A thousand pardons, etc, etc.<br /><br />On with the snark!<br /><br />When we peek in on the girls, they are all talking about the last photo shoot. Ashley says that she hated being in the bottom two and was surprised when Tyra told her how difficult it was to get a good picture of her.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizwdLI48AdOcheUUxg8GOt_KFh_ASZUuWn15JAT0GwS06zfaNB_JACdS7IurDin5I3TOXJDuPg3hjcUPBSsbecJb8ptURG9geztnfhSB0b-Wi-H0a78Uxvd-0h64TZlIa1sujR/s1600-h/ashley.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizwdLI48AdOcheUUxg8GOt_KFh_ASZUuWn15JAT0GwS06zfaNB_JACdS7IurDin5I3TOXJDuPg3hjcUPBSsbecJb8ptURG9geztnfhSB0b-Wi-H0a78Uxvd-0h64TZlIa1sujR/s400/ashley.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391613089296169970" /></a><br /><br />Cut to Nicole sitting on the floor of the bedroom chattering with some of the girls. Apparently, Nigel told Nicole that she talks like a stoner... then <br />proceeded to ask her if she was holding.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEALVPnzXUV-G_4KCMxGdKMml_g9vBoLYDh88cwlqsHlm9dkpKmt41opm0nPnqKUuPf_J0h7idDuDPUeT3ci1MQCjviWag0aAeYME30F0WLptVsp051HoWQODAlmREqCwrtlDz/s1600-h/stoner.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEALVPnzXUV-G_4KCMxGdKMml_g9vBoLYDh88cwlqsHlm9dkpKmt41opm0nPnqKUuPf_J0h7idDuDPUeT3ci1MQCjviWag0aAeYME30F0WLptVsp051HoWQODAlmREqCwrtlDz/s400/stoner.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391613902893607954" /></a><br /><br />All of the girls quickly agree that Nicole does, indeed, talk like a stoner... and then they all asked if she was holding.<br /><br />Meanwhile, Kara is complaining about stuff...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbC68F3AFTH6JOtmzIwV2t1WWpqc4KPAhuL2FIGE3P3uNGbWCsUtraCPnC-Tow0tbacJeOGTg1UVC5qAKorqBZlYtNp8e0YzlwAhAQ5ktqABbFfrf3AtImkIra4Lk7tjYSMrR5/s1600-h/karacomplains.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbC68F3AFTH6JOtmzIwV2t1WWpqc4KPAhuL2FIGE3P3uNGbWCsUtraCPnC-Tow0tbacJeOGTg1UVC5qAKorqBZlYtNp8e0YzlwAhAQ5ktqABbFfrf3AtImkIra4Lk7tjYSMrR5/s400/karacomplains.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391614668619684178" /></a><br /><br />She says that if Nicole or Erin wins, she'll be the "oh, you were on Nicole's season" girl. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg66loGum5MjcE-s0hp-zkmzEzHFT8snFzOvffwz9eFg485-slzrxBhv_GLa7IkRARBNR0fMe6sm4IoUaKnbRZ-n7fD5b0-4yheGfa7JXmL0icfmto-tZx1DzQHG4XN4lYQqwP3/s1600-h/kara-notbigfan.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg66loGum5MjcE-s0hp-zkmzEzHFT8snFzOvffwz9eFg485-slzrxBhv_GLa7IkRARBNR0fMe6sm4IoUaKnbRZ-n7fD5b0-4yheGfa7JXmL0icfmto-tZx1DzQHG4XN4lYQqwP3/s400/kara-notbigfan.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391614293861333394" /></a><br /><br />She goes on to mumble that she's not a big fan of Nicole's and that she tries to avoid her as much as possible. Whatever goatwoman! The sooner you get booted and have to go back to your job working the nightshift at the Dairy Queen, the happier I will be! Oh, have I mentioned that Nicole is my favorite? <br /><br />Anywho...<br /><br />Jennifer laments that Nicole might make it far, but she won't make it all the way. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtICHdZQBQnjdfyjPpMV3BTLsiIXgYDPK5VxAxqXc8LA0huktubSq_xfUs57TFTp7MZjLLsqxCCpzoRLysjSVw9caCi4wsYreH9KDDl16RLJwal-0aB7BULrNn2gEqrG6GAXml/s1600-h/lazyeye.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtICHdZQBQnjdfyjPpMV3BTLsiIXgYDPK5VxAxqXc8LA0huktubSq_xfUs57TFTp7MZjLLsqxCCpzoRLysjSVw9caCi4wsYreH9KDDl16RLJwal-0aB7BULrNn2gEqrG6GAXml/s400/lazyeye.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391614997278789394" /></a><br /><br />Apparently, that lazy eye of hers allows her to see into the future.<br /><br />TYRA MAIL!!!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAZPP6wzLawu_-Qymo1QbkW0uAEsE0aSVKRvpREUqpnJZuGcbRFvai0X-u-2_sJdyYS-bFa5xfqYTxIHYdLGCkC0BYH0s8IVPsREwNjHoSI2gkQ-_scgAlWFOICt0nK3YAYmUW/s1600-h/tyramail.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAZPP6wzLawu_-Qymo1QbkW0uAEsE0aSVKRvpREUqpnJZuGcbRFvai0X-u-2_sJdyYS-bFa5xfqYTxIHYdLGCkC0BYH0s8IVPsREwNjHoSI2gkQ-_scgAlWFOICt0nK3YAYmUW/s400/tyramail.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391615242866327842" /></a><br /><br />The girls make their way to a dance studio where they meet up with the fiercest gay man on the planet...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_7ckdzaMmoFPHkBCFj7lA17a8LBpGzLWoZmeILcL_1yimageALBIl3rq8TF3Ec4gjZvgCyf8X1hHa5gu9Tmg9C2f0oIqU4zsqQium1A4VOKCBr2yjrRLtvBZsE05ozQ4KNhUD/s1600-h/benny.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_7ckdzaMmoFPHkBCFj7lA17a8LBpGzLWoZmeILcL_1yimageALBIl3rq8TF3Ec4gjZvgCyf8X1hHa5gu9Tmg9C2f0oIqU4zsqQium1A4VOKCBr2yjrRLtvBZsE05ozQ4KNhUD/s400/benny.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391615406742494962" /></a><br /><br />Benny Ninja! <br /><br />He's gonna teach the girls about dancing, the primary differences between good and bad touch and how to look fierce while standing with your legs really far apart. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr4d65vg_SK9tNIUa1iYrHFP9XKFmtB_SxOk14tL7lfpf_27mNsdt9_qt3qU3oI6eV-KazSKgj1XgvRKwKUs_z2Qr6eppnnkzxoOcImf8RBsPVotcTFO1fasV9JkuWXzZuzMDV/s1600-h/benny2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr4d65vg_SK9tNIUa1iYrHFP9XKFmtB_SxOk14tL7lfpf_27mNsdt9_qt3qU3oI6eV-KazSKgj1XgvRKwKUs_z2Qr6eppnnkzxoOcImf8RBsPVotcTFO1fasV9JkuWXzZuzMDV/s400/benny2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391615540648352962" /></a><br /><br />Benny emphatically tells the girls that all of the best dancers are short. The only evidence he has to support his claim is... Lil Mama?!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCfOQwFmS6Gg1h_X_aCvAnAx49Nt6JtQ6ksGpuCWI2CuEhtYKgPQI7HBMRChf6VgiBOeZSB6h7seXCWi7JNLAP-ww7ZNyoAtkHX1ycWoZHk3i1AlAGhhcGfe1q9eXTCuvU-dbl/s1600-h/lilmama.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCfOQwFmS6Gg1h_X_aCvAnAx49Nt6JtQ6ksGpuCWI2CuEhtYKgPQI7HBMRChf6VgiBOeZSB6h7seXCWi7JNLAP-ww7ZNyoAtkHX1ycWoZHk3i1AlAGhhcGfe1q9eXTCuvU-dbl/s400/lilmama.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391615753754140610" /></a><br /><br />During her Debbie Allen inspired speech to the girls, Lil Mama is interrupted...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0VWfXf1ADE2QgLVno7KzsodTgVDCyK3u2X15xpOxPKrzaaYcavCuJbNHBFpdKJZ1ktNpEjUKFf7w9VX4-vNdloiT-sdqgOSoZFZfNvq6Poq2wGHAY4Cs1URBv8ZaH5mlNyP8s/s1600-h/kanyelilmama.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0VWfXf1ADE2QgLVno7KzsodTgVDCyK3u2X15xpOxPKrzaaYcavCuJbNHBFpdKJZ1ktNpEjUKFf7w9VX4-vNdloiT-sdqgOSoZFZfNvq6Poq2wGHAY4Cs1URBv8ZaH5mlNyP8s/s400/kanyelilmama.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391615899954312082" /></a><br /><br />One by one, the girls get up and embarrass themselves by displaying their inability to bust a move.<br /><br />Tiring of their non Footloose like ways, Lil Mama introduces them to some real dancers... The Blue Man Group!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRnTEqQH12fXarPvejcmYeDWGAXi8QEDXTAAfKzocujVGI0r4arQ-rlTkfCG-sub-Wia625bsF6TZrV72HgBByBZsOsevYsIDW5XVxzYWILUklhRZrOBbXp5bGOPPfOxMcryFA/s1600-h/blueman.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRnTEqQH12fXarPvejcmYeDWGAXi8QEDXTAAfKzocujVGI0r4arQ-rlTkfCG-sub-Wia625bsF6TZrV72HgBByBZsOsevYsIDW5XVxzYWILUklhRZrOBbXp5bGOPPfOxMcryFA/s400/blueman.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391616679793075410" /></a><br /><br />Oh wait, that's not Blue Man, that's the Jabba Walkers! The girls are all excited, even though they have no idea who these guys are.<br /><br />Lil Mama explains to the girls that they will be doing a performance tonight. She proceeds to break them up into groups of three, and sends them on their way to learn the ways of the dancing. <br /><br />Their dance needs to express happiness, sadness and anger. Everytime I watch this show, I experience many emotions. Usually, it devolves into yelling and throwing things at my TV screen.<br /><br />Ashley is not happy about her team, which includes Nicole and Erin. She says that Nicole and Erin are the two least coordinated girls in the house. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4_6bIONC34lgFIHXrvVgSvjdhp8Q5FPKMrnFp40EcwUTug1Ahbgl1UFwJzPKFFAuwHb8dRynZhe286zgOlEkrmbeXZfqWDYvhkKdQUhHlvJ6K6IOWXzeYuEf4jIyQqsKnN_ly/s1600-h/ashleydance.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4_6bIONC34lgFIHXrvVgSvjdhp8Q5FPKMrnFp40EcwUTug1Ahbgl1UFwJzPKFFAuwHb8dRynZhe286zgOlEkrmbeXZfqWDYvhkKdQUhHlvJ6K6IOWXzeYuEf4jIyQqsKnN_ly/s400/ashleydance.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391617059423917170" /></a><br /><br />At first, I was all... well, maybe they can learn some dance moves, give them a chance. Then, I saw them "rehearsing".<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoDb2DZlA8xupIFX6gWusA1QSgymgrzSXIvLmIce4_g_Fs6OEKSDVHAfvFgwNMKymdcHQjjBpQjsElC6353A6MzvpI4OicKubP3Cz_L4h4NsG8BCgvA7LcAhyNHpNF7Kd9fmiS/s1600-h/team3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoDb2DZlA8xupIFX6gWusA1QSgymgrzSXIvLmIce4_g_Fs6OEKSDVHAfvFgwNMKymdcHQjjBpQjsElC6353A6MzvpI4OicKubP3Cz_L4h4NsG8BCgvA7LcAhyNHpNF7Kd9fmiS/s400/team3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391617433268591266" /></a><br /><br />Nicole and Erin look as if they have never voluntarily moved the lower halves of their bodies... ever. It's like they were raised in Beaumont, Tx or something (yes, another Footloose reference. Keep up!).<br /><br />Suffice it to say that their team performance was positively awful. At the end of their routine, Nicole gave Benny Ninja an extended death stare. He was not impressed. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw0cudzqqJeOI10FbtMJUfuiXsiB3J_ojVUfGqSEas54zIWpR468ruY0pzTNrFkd8vOLR8ZgLoE5ucsKKMd1uwn5gHH7qzA65rwX3itZg-nNYV2SpWK7dHOaU1oVQIQRgnA_cL/s1600-h/nicolestare.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw0cudzqqJeOI10FbtMJUfuiXsiB3J_ojVUfGqSEas54zIWpR468ruY0pzTNrFkd8vOLR8ZgLoE5ucsKKMd1uwn5gHH7qzA65rwX3itZg-nNYV2SpWK7dHOaU1oVQIQRgnA_cL/s400/nicolestare.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391617605005911682" /></a><br /><br />The Mean Girls' team (Jennifer, Kara and Rae) won. Booo!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU3hSSqypI_0ZpXDVgoMC04PLtMC-NfBujNi7mjuLxVKK-waH76krGYe_aWc-2xpf2Wa16bjxYu0RuFN_yEi9S7Zgvu3Zoo7lKxRy8_Rx2fA86h3_gLCzM2EJQWgE_XmRJDt9m/s1600-h/meangirls.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU3hSSqypI_0ZpXDVgoMC04PLtMC-NfBujNi7mjuLxVKK-waH76krGYe_aWc-2xpf2Wa16bjxYu0RuFN_yEi9S7Zgvu3Zoo7lKxRy8_Rx2fA86h3_gLCzM2EJQWgE_XmRJDt9m/s400/meangirls.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391617768183084306" /></a><br /><br />When the girls get back to the house, Ashley begins to whine about how depressed she is and saying that she doesn't know what she's doing wrong. Ashley calls her mom and mom gives her a nice pep talk. Good news is, Ashley has an awesome mom. Bad news is, she's probably going home. <br /><br />The next morning, the girls are awakened by Mr. Jay via video mail. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcXzZ98lrEaMn7eMbDXUjDg3lC91UuPE3StpHdW0yL96RjHVdeG_8syONHfaFkXe1kCHMSrK6RCWI6JlPNN91aUZt7MCBybhKOnE3D5n5EEJl-tCpv4i99oM6dj8dcXgfLw4UG/s1600-h/videomail.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcXzZ98lrEaMn7eMbDXUjDg3lC91UuPE3StpHdW0yL96RjHVdeG_8syONHfaFkXe1kCHMSrK6RCWI6JlPNN91aUZt7MCBybhKOnE3D5n5EEJl-tCpv4i99oM6dj8dcXgfLw4UG/s400/videomail.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391618305112642290" /></a><br /><br />Whenever I see Mr. Jay, I always have the same thought. That thought is that he reminds me of a gay elf like creature with frosted tips and really tight pants.<br /><br />Mr. Jay informs them that they are taking a trip to Sin City, Las Vegas for their next photo shoot! Yay!<br /><br />When the wee models arrive in Las Vegas, they are immediately blind-folded and taken to an undisclosed location where they encounter Mr. Jay's evil twin and his evil minions.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMQOJJUeLQ4fuE9xXD8A_i1n_xXw1DBfhPhiA6bLpymo3LOM9KIbJ6aNyPeLORcLWoXDUkv_y0IxSJ9ygzx3IoCWT9rUXZ9izkxS07NhSI7fjm3N4lj4mMAApAKrjwhzLEpIDl/s1600-h/cirquedejay.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMQOJJUeLQ4fuE9xXD8A_i1n_xXw1DBfhPhiA6bLpymo3LOM9KIbJ6aNyPeLORcLWoXDUkv_y0IxSJ9ygzx3IoCWT9rUXZ9izkxS07NhSI7fjm3N4lj4mMAApAKrjwhzLEpIDl/s400/cirquedejay.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391618499049606370" /></a><br /><br />The girls get all dolled up Cirque de Soleil style and prepare for their closeups. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHcGmL34yBDWxVRxEJ2boZWvLCfNXAZfmYB5gR5c5Ur81F2Gdu8Z3VqHOtTqFVHvzWD1xD5U15MStfypxwiL6HzNHouXNG2XtBvJBn7ORm_72Vm8Xb5P3fe7gHkfAlbsYZNuG8/s1600-h/circue.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHcGmL34yBDWxVRxEJ2boZWvLCfNXAZfmYB5gR5c5Ur81F2Gdu8Z3VqHOtTqFVHvzWD1xD5U15MStfypxwiL6HzNHouXNG2XtBvJBn7ORm_72Vm8Xb5P3fe7gHkfAlbsYZNuG8/s400/circue.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391618680831367458" /></a><br /><br />The modelettes strike their poses, but Mr. Jay is not impressed and the girls pickup on this.<br /><br />Back at the Ponderosa, the girls get some Tyra mail letting them know that one of them will be wished into the cornfield sometime tomorrow.<br /><br />Kara's in the kitchen talking trash about Mr. Jay saying that he just didn't care enough to give them any kind of constructive criticism. Of course, this means she will probably be in the bottom two this week.<br /><br />The girls assemble in front of the judges, Tyra, Nigel, Miss J and special guest star, supermodel Josie Maran. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4EIR5LbjetG-aNU5hSO2zDzPsnGmbDk7jQX6UyMqp8i1L4MDr-qJUshiGVkiMVgdtSw-XCcfZAFbbpI_lMzIzo7xZ2_AQcs9ZRP6mS2oA7uBOTaEUWk7hV7-7mzDHKTZYB-76/s1600-h/josie.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4EIR5LbjetG-aNU5hSO2zDzPsnGmbDk7jQX6UyMqp8i1L4MDr-qJUshiGVkiMVgdtSw-XCcfZAFbbpI_lMzIzo7xZ2_AQcs9ZRP6mS2oA7uBOTaEUWk7hV7-7mzDHKTZYB-76/s400/josie.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391618922065083218" /></a><br /><br />Josie's credits include several cable TV commercials, two episodes of 21 jump Street and that lost episode of Simon & Simon, the one where Rick flips out and shoots up an Ihop. Wait, what?!<br /><br />The judges slowly strip away at what remains of the modelettes' self-esteem... I mean, they critique the girls' pics from the last photo shoot and then send the girls away so they can talk about them behind their backs.<br /><br />Not surprisingly, the bottom two this week are...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijYQBmkuf7T8hbmsR601tOErG71vpmlhZGww7W9b5Ig8TvqL6Ssl935hfJtHVNxrM8RqBRIPdplXCFZtUqIRXiQkErdUI0WXJ2Okf5nOjax6VT0TK_0VvzViFKO17Ehcerhr2f/s1600-h/bottom2-ep6.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijYQBmkuf7T8hbmsR601tOErG71vpmlhZGww7W9b5Ig8TvqL6Ssl935hfJtHVNxrM8RqBRIPdplXCFZtUqIRXiQkErdUI0WXJ2Okf5nOjax6VT0TK_0VvzViFKO17Ehcerhr2f/s400/bottom2-ep6.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391619439156173106" /></a><br /><br />Kara and Ashley stand before Queen Tyra and await their fate. I was really hoping that Kara would get the boot because she just, kind of, annoys the hell out of me.<br /><br />Unfortunately, Ashley was asked to pack up her makeup bag and go. Sad panda. I thought for sure that Ashley would go a bit further, especially because she was hand picked by Tyra. Ahh well, that's life in the big city.<br /><br />Be sure to join me every Friday for my ANTM recaps. Comments, feedback always welcome. Oh yeah, follw me on Twitter www.twitter.com/XanxiuZXanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-73011084018475487842009-10-02T22:26:00.000-07:002009-10-03T01:23:03.495-07:00America's Next Top Model: Cycle 13(Ep#5) - The Beauty Shot!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwmld3a2C2HZrdWtldIdWprrAvCk0kUsRin_vXxC3cImmjc7fUSHZ4dChw6966cZP-Yqnjz_n-ZhGXjK81-fA1_sZt0Jlj9_ma5stQ0pVZ9L0oMvaFpLHQmR1nvJ0ORJNeFQVT/s1600-h/antm_lg.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 5px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 261px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwmld3a2C2HZrdWtldIdWprrAvCk0kUsRin_vXxC3cImmjc7fUSHZ4dChw6966cZP-Yqnjz_n-ZhGXjK81-fA1_sZt0Jlj9_ma5stQ0pVZ9L0oMvaFpLHQmR1nvJ0ORJNeFQVT/s400/antm_lg.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384016192209465602" border="0"></a><br /><br />Hey kids, I'm back with another action packed, snark filled recap of America's Next Top Model... for short girls. Sorry I missed last week's episode, but, I was on vacation in Los Angeles. Hmm, can you actually take a vacation if you are unemployed? Whatever, I did.<br /><br />The snarkfest begins with Kara spending half the morning staring at her picture on the wall.<br /><blockquote><br />Kara: I'm just glad that it's here in the house to remind me everyday of how awesome I am.<br /></blockquote><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhENZw8ydoWcdHMgyyfD2_ibdI1PlvKG_2vyuhBPpSEtNLEJZYGskvCoWWue8d5DDe5xXzNrpNtmPe3tkWGc-lUBJ_G1ijKglwJP-XommHLt0-Brsr6HeeLBy3lxaFFAiClIF49/s1600-h/antmkara.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhENZw8ydoWcdHMgyyfD2_ibdI1PlvKG_2vyuhBPpSEtNLEJZYGskvCoWWue8d5DDe5xXzNrpNtmPe3tkWGc-lUBJ_G1ijKglwJP-XommHLt0-Brsr6HeeLBy3lxaFFAiClIF49/s400/antmkara.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388277276983315714" /></a><br /><br />Kara is, apparently, unaware that having oddly assembled facial features and teeth twice the size of the average adult is not sexy. She'll learn.<br /><br />Later on that day, the girls go to meet with world famous makeup artiste, Sam Fine.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtr8PbKcKBScXPSQvnzizkizUnOY9jjiyAbYaC84LTqUhExMctnUFFnroerrQC6D6P0CdNlSNGaldXsT40UxiOr8LLTJLtYeAVbtsmsM4NL5tAjPi7QITXKw0jKpy4O4IMJp8r/s1600-h/antmsamfine.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtr8PbKcKBScXPSQvnzizkizUnOY9jjiyAbYaC84LTqUhExMctnUFFnroerrQC6D6P0CdNlSNGaldXsT40UxiOr8LLTJLtYeAVbtsmsM4NL5tAjPi7QITXKw0jKpy4O4IMJp8r/s400/antmsamfine.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388277063089426850" /></a><br /><br />Even though Sam looks as if someone forcibly rubbed the lower half of his face in soot, he's apparently a makeup authoritah! He stresses the importance of being able to do your own makeup.<br /><br />Sam demonstrates one of his (and Tyra's) favorite makeup techniques on Wanda Sue's grand-daughter, easily excitable Laura. It's called the 'Smokey Eye' look.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ-o53LauTpmZAIjyMwsNjzGCV2zLBapAh6Pz22DEY6OMfVmy51BWE_93Djr8HRFMh8gH1QefWtUAdT0pOPE1e3j5KKtagSxubAKbG0AU_w4uCbltxICJrb3R8i7Am_zo9A5i_/s1600-h/antmsmokeyeye.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ-o53LauTpmZAIjyMwsNjzGCV2zLBapAh6Pz22DEY6OMfVmy51BWE_93Djr8HRFMh8gH1QefWtUAdT0pOPE1e3j5KKtagSxubAKbG0AU_w4uCbltxICJrb3R8i7Am_zo9A5i_/s400/antmsmokeyeye.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388277527021105202" /></a><br /><br />Or as we non-model types call it, the 'Drunk Racoon' look.<br /><br />After their visit with Sam, the makeup man, the girls head on over to the local Walmart. For some odd reason, Nigel and his hot wife, Christy are loitering in the Walmart parking lot. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr-tof2ppXlFQqU6xH8fIMV-3EOUbVtYPf3zhlsZ8S2Vt6Gg59LP1ZfQi44GMFUKcoArCRFuIwGPOVYNDS40XjgcErq-o_r5SIcGfKteGw_qNRsnvRKUk8v_C8lvfSox0GRm51/s1600-h/antmnigel&wife.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr-tof2ppXlFQqU6xH8fIMV-3EOUbVtYPf3zhlsZ8S2Vt6Gg59LP1ZfQi44GMFUKcoArCRFuIwGPOVYNDS40XjgcErq-o_r5SIcGfKteGw_qNRsnvRKUk8v_C8lvfSox0GRm51/s400/antmnigel&wife.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388277688285002738" /></a><br /><br />Laura, who seems to be amazed and impressed by EVERYTHING, exclaims, "Oh my God, they're the most beautiful people in the world!" Yes Laura, they are the most beautiful people in the world.<br /><br />Nigel and his hot wife, Christy explain to the girls that they are here at the Walmart for a makeup task! The objective of the task is for the girls to learn how to create that "model basic" look, the look that's perfect for go sees.<br /><br />The girls begin racing around the store searching for strategically placed items of clothing, shoes, makeup, etc. Apparently, Erin thinks this is a bloodsport because she's taking no prisoners. She's pushing other girls and takes every opportunity to sabotage the other modelettes.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRoCxvEfD0xeuViJ-hXoWSLvdKGMy6N9QWAPrJDrx6Ha6ChBRMjUPhSC4oYovPCWrGreAaNOIc3KCNS2cjsQPh4PFSgV5FvO_gQCjhjLuabWQDXxPCLfhrFtptOAkYLy2Ab1B8/s1600-h/walmarterin.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRoCxvEfD0xeuViJ-hXoWSLvdKGMy6N9QWAPrJDrx6Ha6ChBRMjUPhSC4oYovPCWrGreAaNOIc3KCNS2cjsQPh4PFSgV5FvO_gQCjhjLuabWQDXxPCLfhrFtptOAkYLy2Ab1B8/s400/walmarterin.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388277861768626946" /></a><br /><br />It was all for naught because she did not win the task, Sundai did.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDVYVCZcgqcvIseu58u3B9h3kM8tKBSlcXBQ3ssKCm_UMdBQRz_M9yKDhYvUAB1Mqd4zyEgqWk_g6sJ4-O0tZusC-ghaZoZQT3K-405yCxqK3ustzySKL7Mw02wpi7gXHy_-ss/s1600-h/antmsundai.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDVYVCZcgqcvIseu58u3B9h3kM8tKBSlcXBQ3ssKCm_UMdBQRz_M9yKDhYvUAB1Mqd4zyEgqWk_g6sJ4-O0tZusC-ghaZoZQT3K-405yCxqK3ustzySKL7Mw02wpi7gXHy_-ss/s400/antmsundai.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388278007923569970" /></a><br /><br />Sundai is very excited because, apparently, Walmart is her mom's favorite store. With that $1,000 gift certificate, she can pretty much buy one of everything in the store.<br /><br />Back at the house, some of the girls are bitching about how Erin was being all overly competitive at the Walmart and stuff. And they didn't like it.<br /><br />On the way to their next photo shoot, the bitching girls are still, well, bitching about Erin at the Walmart. This upsets Erin and she turns on the water works.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5yOizGcQ6btSEEoQzuEum4nmydOM04W3Zn09ZxUIfA3McJ-k-QxLZdMXtMYSFnuopYuEtJS9WLzkonLedjTFe_Pw7Y3SQPsnEfZdwlQXo0xPxVhdnJOIi10Hw_usBWZGETmdF/s1600-h/antmerinsad.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5yOizGcQ6btSEEoQzuEum4nmydOM04W3Zn09ZxUIfA3McJ-k-QxLZdMXtMYSFnuopYuEtJS9WLzkonLedjTFe_Pw7Y3SQPsnEfZdwlQXo0xPxVhdnJOIi10Hw_usBWZGETmdF/s400/antmerinsad.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388278161342887186" /></a><br /><br />Bianca notices that Erin is a sad panda and this causes more talking to occur. Bianca opines that it's okay to be competitive, but not to play dirty. She advises Erin to just apologize and move the hell on. Erin responds that she doesn't think she played dirty, "I didn't push anyone, I pushed through people." Blah, blah, blah.<br /><br />By the time the girls arrive to the photo shoot, the crying and whining jags have ended. They walk into the studio and see something resembling a mannequin with a whole lotta junk in the trunk.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKZnG9F8VydfE_WOVICg073V6Lwv9vvoZzqsRVQXJfO1w2dTvZOwoW56ixueM1Tmc0FRgZopEb__ErfrntZaJF9w7FsqAbrmyAZD6I2jH1xJBGOrN45yfTzmYvovno3kQBNhFT/s1600-h/antmwrapping.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKZnG9F8VydfE_WOVICg073V6Lwv9vvoZzqsRVQXJfO1w2dTvZOwoW56ixueM1Tmc0FRgZopEb__ErfrntZaJF9w7FsqAbrmyAZD6I2jH1xJBGOrN45yfTzmYvovno3kQBNhFT/s400/antmwrapping.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388278292595625010" /></a><br /><br />They unwrap the mannequin and surprise, it's Tyra in a onsie!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkpcPC9Vo-c5Xa6LdYn8gU1JRwV5cj11Bf8OlETG9OtM94rsoIm4Dv5lo8lcSJQrc7R9AoZEbw8afY3hdYxcZ6BYBxaLdg8IW_ixzMM6pRUgsatWIyeh8JZvwVeOiRx_U34xls/s1600-h/tyraonsie.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkpcPC9Vo-c5Xa6LdYn8gU1JRwV5cj11Bf8OlETG9OtM94rsoIm4Dv5lo8lcSJQrc7R9AoZEbw8afY3hdYxcZ6BYBxaLdg8IW_ixzMM6pRUgsatWIyeh8JZvwVeOiRx_U34xls/s400/tyraonsie.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388278479784940514" /></a><br /><br />Tyra lets the modelettes know that she will be photographing them, today. They all pretend to be super excited by this.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_oRv9Hmr1AGiiQfvgA8ZgsMMFWRDkoS9yOqsYxoJakexJGx3i0l2DPqo6hw110d1pLjua-ym53YrwN0S_MbSB7-xt4OPlZ3I1BWIcTEtVH2X9wwpAElxY4TMuJrfLmtTVL-WL/s1600-h/antmexcited.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_oRv9Hmr1AGiiQfvgA8ZgsMMFWRDkoS9yOqsYxoJakexJGx3i0l2DPqo6hw110d1pLjua-ym53YrwN0S_MbSB7-xt4OPlZ3I1BWIcTEtVH2X9wwpAElxY4TMuJrfLmtTVL-WL/s400/antmexcited.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388278652454444194" /></a><br /><br />Today, the girls will work on mastering their "Beauty shot." The girl who wins gets immunity and will be safe from elimination this week.<br /><br />Tyra explains that the modelettes will be wearing scarves for their shoots, just like Tyra wears at bedtime.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYk2payBmspXvwWWZZZeJ4Kr0i_bCG7kmS7isl1NSl4OTh51cwgvDFQS5GrNx-qSURfatviaheB135Y0nDOwpGi3ePFACwraDOdgvMPuCZx9dfgxWQZ-rMMyNXhN7aW_T-hh-p/s1600-h/tyrascarf.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYk2payBmspXvwWWZZZeJ4Kr0i_bCG7kmS7isl1NSl4OTh51cwgvDFQS5GrNx-qSURfatviaheB135Y0nDOwpGi3ePFACwraDOdgvMPuCZx9dfgxWQZ-rMMyNXhN7aW_T-hh-p/s400/tyrascarf.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388278806140569842" /></a><br /><br />Apparently, it's really super important that the wee modelettes master the "Beauty shot" 'cause who wants to be reminded of how short they really are?<br /><br />Tyra begins to snap, snap away with her camera. There are various awkward wedgie flashes because the outfits the girls are wearing were designed for toddlers.<br /><br />Brittany wins the scarf shoot challenge with a picture of her face covered by her scarf. Okay.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFAqwEkOa6VRDHdvht0x_1dCHwwbamEAN4kr3jv-BcLTiK1fPHfB64irGolFW3W3k-U5b7R0UWvnF6NIr5g2Gd2DEf5Gka_bmONFK2_3DtRHvTP65LT5Y9v04uxST7eNeaU3RM/s1600-h/antmbrittany.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFAqwEkOa6VRDHdvht0x_1dCHwwbamEAN4kr3jv-BcLTiK1fPHfB64irGolFW3W3k-U5b7R0UWvnF6NIr5g2Gd2DEf5Gka_bmONFK2_3DtRHvTP65LT5Y9v04uxST7eNeaU3RM/s400/antmbrittany.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388284426135156178" /></a><br /><br />...and the other girls are just jealous. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT5QLaOwD8UQfOezCw6LphgCf4CIvXXbXCZbOcngk_sOEXjf0oJrlUYQveBY6j-oex0NhhXwcWTxsFkXwz2LfxelToenNUYt5wbNNDVR-BpZ2qhuXyt1A_5Cy96Yew29nepM1I/s1600-h/jealous.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 190px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT5QLaOwD8UQfOezCw6LphgCf4CIvXXbXCZbOcngk_sOEXjf0oJrlUYQveBY6j-oex0NhhXwcWTxsFkXwz2LfxelToenNUYt5wbNNDVR-BpZ2qhuXyt1A_5Cy96Yew29nepM1I/s400/jealous.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388278957426456898" /></a><br /><br />You just know they were all thinking, "I can't believe that bitch won. She's not fierce, not like me! I hate her!"<br /><br />Back at the ranch, Bianca expresses her concern at being in the bottom two so often. She feels that her last photo shoot should put her close to the top of the pack.<br /><br />As the Sword of Damocles hovers above her head, she actually says, "I'm not getting eliminated." Well, it was nice knowing you, Bianca.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv0j0nzFAPRBn3-Q2Y4gdPVnQt08TZbeVF2aCYfEEOP7jinr7cMDB8q5pL-Q2D8Hr1Ssys-6kq1LzCQClP-8EiLXJmv08HhrhucdmcuGH6xtO73xuv0T_0I3fCMa7bdL8q9_R8/s1600-h/antmbianca.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv0j0nzFAPRBn3-Q2Y4gdPVnQt08TZbeVF2aCYfEEOP7jinr7cMDB8q5pL-Q2D8Hr1Ssys-6kq1LzCQClP-8EiLXJmv08HhrhucdmcuGH6xtO73xuv0T_0I3fCMa7bdL8q9_R8/s400/antmbianca.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388279162472882322" /></a><br /><br />Later on that evening, the girls all gather together in front of the judges, Tyra, Nigel, Miss J and special guest star, miniature super model, China Chow. The cool thing about China Chow's name is that she could be a James Bond girl or villain with that name.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh10RxnkIikqi11MffTJP_SsDhWDwIrkpxvhIVxzPpGtCJAsyNoo1M6PmDGRTg4idIiKblbTJihoJQkG2DYlxgazcJ1CBxeUqTaWJ72r-8rgLLB7nfQgFaw1VvbLas7AWrvbqxH/s1600-h/antmjudges.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh10RxnkIikqi11MffTJP_SsDhWDwIrkpxvhIVxzPpGtCJAsyNoo1M6PmDGRTg4idIiKblbTJihoJQkG2DYlxgazcJ1CBxeUqTaWJ72r-8rgLLB7nfQgFaw1VvbLas7AWrvbqxH/s400/antmjudges.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388279307329669074" /></a><br /><br />Of course, none of the girls know who China is, but they pretend that they do.<br /><br />Tyra begins whipping out pics of the wee modelettes who get to stay for, at least, another week. It begins to become obvious who the bottom two will be.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjvv6dFwItlGPaUvDmIdHVy2mx5NZKzjr42qWtmOoIhJv7fplKNpkkguk5spXReyJn2cmUCKt183R4I2ocGOQj8IaLmwDY9QXyNpPLMgtAdw3YTFDrmkScLbelXnFSeRDUv0eV/s1600-h/antmbottom2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjvv6dFwItlGPaUvDmIdHVy2mx5NZKzjr42qWtmOoIhJv7fplKNpkkguk5spXReyJn2cmUCKt183R4I2ocGOQj8IaLmwDY9QXyNpPLMgtAdw3YTFDrmkScLbelXnFSeRDUv0eV/s400/antmbottom2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388279479186222690" /></a><br /><br />Of course, we are not surprised at the two girls standing there. We knew it would be Ashley and Bianca. well, at least, I did.<br /><br />Tyra says they are both awesome and beautiful, but in a non top modeley kind of way. So, unfortunately, one has to kick rocks and get the hell on.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGhzqFA5lU66W_4n47D0unbpHnwuFfDEN6Kju_Oy7KFAR10_rVaMxTRIhNtQV-vnOxVVoAJHxwXkLPCumPLgleli2COKX5l7DfOTogbi3LpX6HKhSEKS9WFikZjdHp9ZcH36G_/s1600-h/antmsadbianca.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGhzqFA5lU66W_4n47D0unbpHnwuFfDEN6Kju_Oy7KFAR10_rVaMxTRIhNtQV-vnOxVVoAJHxwXkLPCumPLgleli2COKX5l7DfOTogbi3LpX6HKhSEKS9WFikZjdHp9ZcH36G_/s400/antmsadbianca.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388279599174397074" /></a><br /><br />Bianca is asked to pack up her makeup bag and go. Kinda sucks because I think Bianca has a great look. Any girl with features strong enough to rock the Sinead O'connor look is pretty hot. Ahh well, that's life in the big city, kids.<br /><br />Be sure to join me every Friday for my ANTM recaps. Comments, feedback always welcome.XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-87857231376614182332009-09-23T14:39:00.000-07:002009-09-24T09:07:06.948-07:00Stupid people and their wacky protest signs!Toss a rock into the air at any protest rally and the chances are very good that the rock will come down on the head of an idiot holding a sign that either a) has nothing to do with the topic of the protest rally, or b) is retarded. <br /><br />What is it about protest rallies that brings out the wackadoos? It's like they all subscribe to the same newsletter or something. If there's a protest rally within 50 yards of a WalMart, a Cracker Barrel or a Piggly Wiggly, you are guaranteed to see some very interesting signs... Signs that tell us we need to seriously reinvest in public education.<br /><br />Apparently, this dude is still pissed off at Erin Moran for leaving Happy Days for Joanie Loves Chachi. What? Oh, he's just an idiot who can't spell? Nevermind.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA021uWKv20SSZfsJ3qh96wNdcQP-IHu7bi2YvCxkq_Qf1kKX1G5VS6BBi8SnTbNuaSwzw1HhowV6wXcqLtccuwtl7izX0EEBT_91RngYf2eR9yfOTYMHCN9taYDASYa8hEZd9/s1600-h/moran.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 311px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA021uWKv20SSZfsJ3qh96wNdcQP-IHu7bi2YvCxkq_Qf1kKX1G5VS6BBi8SnTbNuaSwzw1HhowV6wXcqLtccuwtl7izX0EEBT_91RngYf2eR9yfOTYMHCN9taYDASYa8hEZd9/s320/moran.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385052806452667458" /></a><br /><br />Why is it that severely stupid people always seem so pleased with themselves? This guy could benefit from a good, solid round house kick to the throat. Maybe that would improve his grammar.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhce8m1P7zTiY56SA_V_Sx5MMxAcIBe5cTzgQkp-CEDf54nZdV1ABwnoGUxfCdNwIj4V52OWLcNsw1TwHBXQrINazkHXx8am_Y9iR9x_Pu97dDeqiAuTRyn_POTXYc_LIvfZAAs/s1600-h/arecountry.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 139px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhce8m1P7zTiY56SA_V_Sx5MMxAcIBe5cTzgQkp-CEDf54nZdV1ABwnoGUxfCdNwIj4V52OWLcNsw1TwHBXQrINazkHXx8am_Y9iR9x_Pu97dDeqiAuTRyn_POTXYc_LIvfZAAs/s320/arecountry.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385057587557062066" /></a><br /><br />Tell-tale signs that you are in the presence of a certifiably stupid wackadoo: <br />1) Their entire outfit has been crudely fashioned out of the local high school's American flag.<br />2) They are creating a sign using a discarded piece of cardboard and a crayon they stole from a 7 year old.<br />3)Not only is their sign misspelled, but the lettering on their sign randomly changes from uppercase to lowercase then back to uppercase.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw8RNDIcUDCBakDn99-nY2HbZ3OiWgMJD146EzGXRj1l4bVMrQlVRqu-9txAj4Ju-U9nDPqxiV8hdqbtDTW9KUVFeQprD3EnpaCffow3SXdN4hMjfpfZFjX9jiQjQzAFlos-CV/s1600-h/birthcertifict.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 260px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw8RNDIcUDCBakDn99-nY2HbZ3OiWgMJD146EzGXRj1l4bVMrQlVRqu-9txAj4Ju-U9nDPqxiV8hdqbtDTW9KUVFeQprD3EnpaCffow3SXdN4hMjfpfZFjX9jiQjQzAFlos-CV/s320/birthcertifict.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385062818474874690" /></a><br /><br />For the record, I have zero tolerance for stupid people. Honestly, I think they should be shipped off to the Isle of Stupid (it's just off the coast of Fiji) where they can stupidly frolic, do really stupid things and chatter non-stop about stupid stuff.XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-90891143976906480292009-09-21T10:38:00.000-07:002009-09-21T16:54:02.265-07:00America's Next Top Model: Cycle 13(Ep#3) - The revenge of Smize!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwmld3a2C2HZrdWtldIdWprrAvCk0kUsRin_vXxC3cImmjc7fUSHZ4dChw6966cZP-Yqnjz_n-ZhGXjK81-fA1_sZt0Jlj9_ma5stQ0pVZ9L0oMvaFpLHQmR1nvJ0ORJNeFQVT/s1600-h/antm_lg.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 5px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 261px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwmld3a2C2HZrdWtldIdWprrAvCk0kUsRin_vXxC3cImmjc7fUSHZ4dChw6966cZP-Yqnjz_n-ZhGXjK81-fA1_sZt0Jlj9_ma5stQ0pVZ9L0oMvaFpLHQmR1nvJ0ORJNeFQVT/s400/antm_lg.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384016192209465602" border="0"></a><br />It seems like with every new cycle of America's Next Top Model, the contestants look less and less like models and more and more like random girls you see working at the food court. If this trend continues, ANTM: Cycle 27 will be comprised of girls who kind of look like your cousin, ya' know, the one who resembles Bookman from Good Times.<br /><br />The snarkfest begins with the girls having to go on a big adventure to meet with the president of Wilhelmina Models, Sean Patterson. Sean is decked out in skinny jeans, a pink button down shirt and a vest. STYLISH! <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEaWHg6SpKQYcGWumV7qRj4cc6cDFu4QnB9vtQz1DWvIGlgRDvMmUDLrcxdvRd5e_wZgY0Rq2aBOPrQBSk7TLx5EtUJBgnzt317zRdd_A6QQJa_pCFpSO4t56Q6Fw3f3MX3tOp/s1600-h/seanp.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEaWHg6SpKQYcGWumV7qRj4cc6cDFu4QnB9vtQz1DWvIGlgRDvMmUDLrcxdvRd5e_wZgY0Rq2aBOPrQBSk7TLx5EtUJBgnzt317zRdd_A6QQJa_pCFpSO4t56Q6Fw3f3MX3tOp/s400/seanp.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384019346736180962" border="0"></a><br />Sean, by the way, could not be more underwhelmed at meeting all of these super short girls, because he knows that none of them will make it in the modeling business. He's just going through the motions because he's afraid of Tyra. Sean explains to the petite model wannabes that being a model is hard, and it's even harder for short girls.<br /><br />One by one, Nigel and Sean invite the girls into a room for <s>a 3way</s> some conversation and a little catwalking. They sit behind their big, fancy desk and make catty comments about the girls after they've left the room.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxndCGN45ZM0vKv8rpEDB2ncFnt51eOcBefpy1n4DFOXwx69Du4K2-CdbY5zxJ8Pu-rrhLRH7sOR5_0lgmAJjd8UO8iVouhQQD9AQEmhvz3abtS_eKzAwhwBppizs38alzTAeI/s1600-h/nigelandsean.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxndCGN45ZM0vKv8rpEDB2ncFnt51eOcBefpy1n4DFOXwx69Du4K2-CdbY5zxJ8Pu-rrhLRH7sOR5_0lgmAJjd8UO8iVouhQQD9AQEmhvz3abtS_eKzAwhwBppizs38alzTAeI/s400/nigelandsean.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384022312172493426" border="0"></a><br />Sean and Nigel emerge from their chamber of doom and inform the girls that one of them will be going home, like, right now!<br /><blockquote><br />Sean P: Unfortunately, there's no easy way to say what I'm about to say to you guys... But, one of you doesn't have what it takes to be a Wilhelmina model.<br /></blockquote> Only one? Really? You sure, Vesty?<br /><br />Rachel, when she still believed in Santa Claus!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaljPp1W8JtDX7gkmw4K6KkwVPIh47Azzwcyj1KwqK9UzikkpZCkEsIG3IY5vaKgtdXAlM2GMQpA0hW17x6afOar8BGIb8maKpHGzeEKFATf-l5MHZ-lcgmrTLLD1SfGr2uJFf/s1600-h/ANTM13-Before01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaljPp1W8JtDX7gkmw4K6KkwVPIh47Azzwcyj1KwqK9UzikkpZCkEsIG3IY5vaKgtdXAlM2GMQpA0hW17x6afOar8BGIb8maKpHGzeEKFATf-l5MHZ-lcgmrTLLD1SfGr2uJFf/s400/ANTM13-Before01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384024653999714946" border="0"></a><br /><br />Rachel, after she got the news that Santa had been killed in a shootout with the DEA!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9Va8Pmoc3-f2dKQP0Bs1r9dXSUcaYNf4kdRPXCLWQu15SypSyjVeqfhFQ-sbUZZUkvrw10OMAgLxKmhxBfkZUcFSlFSuWoLGzpksUl-1YmgkHwdDZ87m-W1t_9Zdx7UGz_000/s1600-h/ANTM13-After01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9Va8Pmoc3-f2dKQP0Bs1r9dXSUcaYNf4kdRPXCLWQu15SypSyjVeqfhFQ-sbUZZUkvrw10OMAgLxKmhxBfkZUcFSlFSuWoLGzpksUl-1YmgkHwdDZ87m-W1t_9Zdx7UGz_000/s400/ANTM13-After01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384025065227397554" border="0"></a><br /><br />Awww, poor Rachel. Who knew that large, freakishly wide set eyes was not top model material?<br /><br />The two uber blonde girls were so traumatized by Rachel's sudden departure, their heads spontaneously became conjoined...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzsBVwd92E-EBQSOSufFHrGrVDzfOFYhUdtIWYybFIDo3cWKo6NRw0wZNdrTxZLeOinvtxLMZhKQ3i3NZcZx7EIBey14IH2aDdcGb4Nod_bEWG1MNOEtdAT65jvKGQrRWWJI4X/s1600-h/conjoinedblondes.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzsBVwd92E-EBQSOSufFHrGrVDzfOFYhUdtIWYybFIDo3cWKo6NRw0wZNdrTxZLeOinvtxLMZhKQ3i3NZcZx7EIBey14IH2aDdcGb4Nod_bEWG1MNOEtdAT65jvKGQrRWWJI4X/s400/conjoinedblondes.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384028898040269602" border="0"></a><br /><br />Meanwhile, back at the ranch... <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6MdiMYX4p8WpQTxqQDV2PA1ivIkGPdPI8_-P2RXLg1rO6yAweLZskFwl3wZQEOffPBuhsL8kWQagukhBMppDfPfp5xnbuaVv4qRcAnhJAr9iWZm3AVTW_TsSbBIQIVpPhDlTw/s1600-h/jenniferLE.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6MdiMYX4p8WpQTxqQDV2PA1ivIkGPdPI8_-P2RXLg1rO6yAweLZskFwl3wZQEOffPBuhsL8kWQagukhBMppDfPfp5xnbuaVv4qRcAnhJAr9iWZm3AVTW_TsSbBIQIVpPhDlTw/s400/jenniferLE.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384030982828109138" border="0"></a><br />Jennifer admits that she's sad that Rachel is gone, but she's really happy for herself. Oh yeah, she's still a bit concerned about her lazy eye.<br /><br />The next day, the girls go on a mock photo shoot where they encounter a mean photographer. He's yelling at them and calling them dwarfs. <br /><br />SUDDENLY, Smize appears and comes to the girls' defense!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD3E83GI3JjgUxUFX5OhASunEQyIce7vL6ylV_VMa6_B_NnhamuJtPfLV7muMh4vxjUrDfDY_5jUajy_bzwDy0hiNbMA9Ol2rQGxNAY4CyCrh5as8SGcaZ7VnFRXjK4Fx6TXuV/s1600-h/smize.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD3E83GI3JjgUxUFX5OhASunEQyIce7vL6ylV_VMa6_B_NnhamuJtPfLV7muMh4vxjUrDfDY_5jUajy_bzwDy0hiNbMA9Ol2rQGxNAY4CyCrh5as8SGcaZ7VnFRXjK4Fx6TXuV/s400/smize.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384032884339272770" border="0"></a><br /><br />Smize is going to vanquish the evil photographer and then teach the girls how to smile with their eyes, YAY!<br /><br />This is probably my favorite scene from this episode because Tyra is in full on crazy mode. She instructs the girls on the basics of smizing, and tells them to think of something delicious. Tyra asks Courtney what she's thinking about. Courtney says she's thinking about pizza, then Tyra says... Oh here, just watch the clip!<br /><br /><center><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzsmAOrGxMZO6Mgatq6JaFuITCLoDia-Khi6thzTWFOld7B7-R4UUORo9WFc_vYorlfYox6hBwPGks' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /></center><br />The look on Courtney's face communicated everything viewers were thinking at that moment. Something to the effect of, "Bitch, you crazy!"<br /><br />After they graduate from Tyra's Smize Academy, they head over to the racetrack so they can put their smizing skills to use. They all take boring pictures atop horses. Bianca looks like a drag queen and everybody seems bored.<br /><br />Back at the house, Courtney is complaining about her broken foot and having to wear the boot during the photo shoot. Courtney doesn't know it, but we seasoned ANTM viewers know that this means she's a goner.<br /><br />The girls go to meet with the judges - Miss Jay, Nigel and special guest judge Lauren Conrad. Everytime I see Lauren Conrad I can't help but ask, "why is this chick on my TV?" What exactly does she do? <br /><br />This week, the bottom two are...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpuzuBcrF649PlFHyetky_8W_4WbDY5_jNVQoo9dIl3puXTLxYXgNNYeU-Vw3qqPqfqeleQp9-nLW6Ezze2URX2uPazTNyZJwraGFl8tXsM1CGE6sFPWhGn9crde3roA8ZPb5H/s1600-h/bottom2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpuzuBcrF649PlFHyetky_8W_4WbDY5_jNVQoo9dIl3puXTLxYXgNNYeU-Vw3qqPqfqeleQp9-nLW6Ezze2URX2uPazTNyZJwraGFl8tXsM1CGE6sFPWhGn9crde3roA8ZPb5H/s400/bottom2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384039459441518930" /></a><br />Alas, Courtney was asked to pack up her makeup bag and go. Awww, poor Courtney and her broken foot. I was hoping that she would last longer. Oh well, that's life in the big city, kids.<br /><br />Be sure to join me every Friday for my ANTM recaps. Comments, feedback always welcome.XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-32198073217906504742009-09-03T00:41:00.000-07:002009-09-05T23:13:13.637-07:00Homeless people and their fancy signs!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyraeAHo4LtQH4ebQs9Sq17JyzVmPy84ieCs2lgCJh-s57YHUVb_DNa6zIVUDsGUQvgOllSDgh5ensa3et9aDsbKamoYy3wqC3FzGgjeBCe072bakmaKZyZ8Z_bZ2Urm1DeHwD/s1600-h/hairweave.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyraeAHo4LtQH4ebQs9Sq17JyzVmPy84ieCs2lgCJh-s57YHUVb_DNa6zIVUDsGUQvgOllSDgh5ensa3et9aDsbKamoYy3wqC3FzGgjeBCe072bakmaKZyZ8Z_bZ2Urm1DeHwD/s200/hairweave.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377152375160456786" /></a><br />I recently came to the conclusion that I am a supremely petty person. It's okay, I'm fine with it. In fact, I embrace it. I wrap my arms and my legs around my abject pettiness and give it a big, wet sloppy kiss. If more people embraced their short comings, the world would be a much happier, more enjoyable place to hang out... or would it?<br /><br />I was on my way home one day when I noticed a homeless dude standing on the corner. I was really hoping that I would make the light at that corner because I wasn't in the mood to intentionally avoid eye contact with this guy or pretend that I was suddenly fascinated with my car stereo. <br /><br />I was a few blocks from the light when I decided to gun it and try to get through the light before it changed. Fuck, red light! I'm fairly certain that the homeless dude somehow manipulated the light switching mechanism because that fuckin' light seemed to go from green to red, instantly.<br /><br />Sitting there at that red light, I became suddenly fascinated with my car stereo. It's an amazing thing, really. Turn the knob clockwise and the volume increases, turn the knob counter-clockwise and the volume decreases. Wow!<br /><br />The thing about red lights in the lovely city of Las Vegas is that they are excruciatingly long...<br /><br />At this point, I had exhausted the amount of time that I am legally allowed to be 'suddenly fascinated with my car stereo.' I casually glance over at the homeless dude. He throws me a genuine smile and I smile back, not so genuinely. When I glanced at him, the first thing I noticed was his sign. His sign was perfect! Good grammar, syntax and spelling. Oh yeah, and his name was Wallace.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-uC92ZZTgGGZZo-OZvxditEYAj9mSFYva__fR19pVBKGEPpOZEVU76WWpBRJLmjQ-O06UyF7sD76kgEgALmJ1HBIOJwvAaoiE4kaPYF3JZ64eMjwAkGyzPDms_N-qzSyP1sH7/s1600-h/homelessdude1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 187px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-uC92ZZTgGGZZo-OZvxditEYAj9mSFYva__fR19pVBKGEPpOZEVU76WWpBRJLmjQ-O06UyF7sD76kgEgALmJ1HBIOJwvAaoiE4kaPYF3JZ64eMjwAkGyzPDms_N-qzSyP1sH7/s200/homelessdude1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377169930205375490" /></a><br /><br />Since I recently joined the ranks of the unemployed, my charity giving guidelines have become a bit more strict. I don't know about you guys but, I prefer my homeless people's signs to have a hint of "I'm off my meds and desperate" kind of vibe to them. I want to see words with lines drawn through them, random scribbly lines, words that inexplicably go from lowercase to uppercase, and words that you have to try and decipher to figure out what they mean.<br /><br />No longer do I have some Pavlovian response to any and every homeless person I see. I need to feel good about myself, dammit! If you want my money, you have to look like you need it more than I do, or else, I will suddenly become fascinated with my car stereo. Did you know that turning the knob clockwise causes the volume to increase?XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-54462218336178813372009-07-27T18:45:00.000-07:002009-07-27T19:17:03.232-07:00Top 10 reasons to unfollow someone on Twitter.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGywOzW-HeU58gGpHvbFSAvJnnFacibENJwSz5PdY_WTs6_-19-G9QtNCR_6R7THyFgZv6Q5HO4NODiCFH1ZD2oBjmpu8dmFUT-jvYA8wxnwudBmdwy-WIkpFN2Ma637i-KwPk/s1600-h/twitter_logo_header.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 155px; height: 36px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGywOzW-HeU58gGpHvbFSAvJnnFacibENJwSz5PdY_WTs6_-19-G9QtNCR_6R7THyFgZv6Q5HO4NODiCFH1ZD2oBjmpu8dmFUT-jvYA8wxnwudBmdwy-WIkpFN2Ma637i-KwPk/s200/twitter_logo_header.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363321571310223218" /></a>Twitter! All the kids are doin' it! The truth of it is, Twitter, just like any new social networking tool that becomes popular attracts annoying, stupid, uninteresting people. These people feel perfectly comfortable polluting the Twitter stream of consciousness with insipid comments. Honestly, if I encountered some of these people in person and their conversation was comprised of the same things they talk about on Twitter, I would get up and walk away.. while they were talking. Harsh? Maybe. Necessary so that I keep my sanity and do not murder them? Absolutely!<br /><br />So, in my desire to help new Twitterers avoid some of the pitfalls of Twitter life, here's my top 10 list of reasons to immediately unfollow someone on Twitter.<br /><br /><font color=red size=3><dt><b>You should immediately unfollow someone if they...</b></dt></font><br /><dd>10) ...continually break the TMI rule. I have no desire to know that you think your 6 year old son might be gay. Really?<br /><br />9) ...post so rarely, that when you see a tweet from them, your first thought is, "who the hell is that?" Also, they only tweet really depressing, obscure lyrics from emo artists.<br /><br />8) ...routinely use way too many question marks or exclamation points in their tweets. A question is not more of a question if you add 17 question marks at the end, it's just fucking annoying!!!!!!!<br /><br />7) ...use the phrase 'NO HOMO' - the person using that phrase is usually the only one thinking about potential homo action. That means the person using the 'NO HOMO' phrase is probably 'YES HOMO!'<br /><br />6) ...routinely post tweets comprised of nothing but the current trending topics. This is the worst kind of Twitterer, because a) they have absolutely nothing to say and b)they still want people to follow them. These people should be shunned, immediately.<br /><br />5) ...actively participates in really stuping trending topics. Anything Jonas Bros or Miley Cyrus related is an automatic FAIL!<br /><br />4) ...unnecessarily abbreviates words when they are not even close to the 140 character limit. Either they are illiterate or just seriously lazy.<br /><br />3) ...continuously posts really stupid tweets. Everybody posts lame or stupid tweets from time to time, it happens. But, if you are following someone who is a copious purveyor of seriously stupid tweets, you should unfollow them immediately.<br /><br />2) ...are currently following Tila Tequila. Really, there is absolutely no wiggle room on this one. I have to admit, some "friends" tricked me into following her.. for 36 hours. In those 36 hours, I lost 72 IQ points AND the ability to discern between good and bad touches. Just say NO to Tila Teqila!<br /><br />1) ...is not following you back. If they are just some regular Joe or Jane Schmoe (IE, not some superfuckin' awesome celebrity type, a person you admire or a person you are actively stalking), why would you continue to follow them if they are not following you?<br /></dd><br /><br />I'm just trying to help people.. because, I am a helper.XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-23349359363711514922009-06-19T22:56:00.000-07:002009-06-19T23:35:29.344-07:00Ode to the Iphone<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvBQfYMLKSds0-6AbrGiDI-KOFHx97sV1IMreUl_mLZSTJ_08CCnqwEC3aDDDiLOI2U7t_HlNCe_kC3Vzjz2s9_eR3p2CtQZFyyW3wiV0LobsUuO-UOId6RK-v346hH9hwL8Hi/s1600-h/iphone.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 107px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvBQfYMLKSds0-6AbrGiDI-KOFHx97sV1IMreUl_mLZSTJ_08CCnqwEC3aDDDiLOI2U7t_HlNCe_kC3Vzjz2s9_eR3p2CtQZFyyW3wiV0LobsUuO-UOId6RK-v346hH9hwL8Hi/s200/iphone.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5349294666479756098" /></a><br /><blockquote><br />Even tho I do not possess you, I love you. You have many cool apps, some of them actually useful.<br />I laughed really hard when my friend dropped his in the pool. I was jealous, because I did not have one.<br />I continued to laugh as he cried over his water damaged Iphone, cause he kind of looks like an Asian chipmunk when he cries.<br />it occurred to me that chipmunks do not deserve Iphones and that's why the Iphone jumped into the pool.<br />Iphone, I will possess you, someday, sans that damn mandatory AT&T data plan. The end.<br /></blockquote>XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-20445347575706550912009-06-02T21:17:00.001-07:002009-06-03T17:18:02.356-07:00Old people and cell phones.It really should be mandatory for anyone over the age of 60 to have to learn how to text message!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8TL1VoHa0xdqxSsrrIskmDpl_FmugNcAbVT6yftX5ok2kNPqTFmFLbs7tnk0zSyNO10CXpCucRMtWJuaFO_ftu1OzNTwVvCKWcLmxb4QtFVchDFlR_We90sa9LFTPuSMyHoUw/s1600-h/oldladyoncellphone.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 220px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8TL1VoHa0xdqxSsrrIskmDpl_FmugNcAbVT6yftX5ok2kNPqTFmFLbs7tnk0zSyNO10CXpCucRMtWJuaFO_ftu1OzNTwVvCKWcLmxb4QtFVchDFlR_We90sa9LFTPuSMyHoUw/s320/oldladyoncellphone.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343256505164659570" /></a><br />"No, old lady sitting next to me at the dentist's office, it is NOT OKAY for you to whip out your old ass cell phone and proceed to have 15 different conversations while you wait to have your gums scraped."<br /><br />I really don't want to know that you just got a new belly button ring and it's "uncomfortable"!<br /><br />She wasn't even using her inside voice, either!XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-68431835156585326952009-05-30T14:37:00.000-07:002009-06-16T19:36:29.176-07:00Kiss me, I'm unemployed!So, yeah.. As of last Thursday, I've joined the ranks of the unemployed. It's a weird feeling to have all of this free time. The truth of it is that, subconsciously, I've been wanting this to happen for months. And, well, it did. Yippee, I guess! <br /><br />Now, I actually have to follow through on my threat to leave Las Vegas, the city that I hate with the heat of a thousand habanero peppers.<br /><br />Truth be told, I do feel quite liberated, so, it's not all bad. It wasn't the job that was the problem, it was a whole host of other things. Even though they kicked my ass to the curb, they are still an awesome company.<br /><br />When my manager came around and asked if we could have a 'lil chat, I didn't think anything of it. As we were walking down the hallway of doom, she started randomly talking about Jaime Foxx.. then, she began to hum the refrain from "Blame it on the alcohol." I knew I was screwed.<br /><br />It's all good, though. I figure I'll be a bum for a couple of weeks, maybe longer, then figure out where I actually want to move to. Will it be Los Angeles or Seattle? I really feel like I can move anywhere that I want. Frankly, that is an awesome feeling!XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-50068267913907984022009-05-26T22:04:00.000-07:002009-06-01T13:04:04.700-07:00My new Youtube channel!So, yeah.. I caved to the imaginary peer pressure to create my own Youtube channel. What will I put on my new Youtube channel? Who knows.<br /><br />The first video up on my channel is a sexy little montage I made of women making out. While I have no real idea what my channel theme will be, I'm sure there will quite a few sexy montages and vignettes posted.<br /><br />Anyway, check out my vid, below before Youtube yanks it for being 'inappropriate.'<br /><br /><object width="425" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cm_hfifHHTo&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cm_hfifHHTo&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="340"></embed></object>XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18487060.post-84545043880668807732009-05-16T05:52:00.001-07:002009-05-19T21:01:18.019-07:00White dudes with cornrows!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVKaKKASClC7NLz179qKK08B9KrVUnBbO-Map7vifDHC8e6-AS6BNTI-ueSRCKL2B_gPSEV_Kkm3BfoNH0SmybW72IQpW64aDSQdRDGxv0m0TDnbAdFxpm2ZvEHstTw-UnX99g/s1600-h/UriahFaber.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 250px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVKaKKASClC7NLz179qKK08B9KrVUnBbO-Map7vifDHC8e6-AS6BNTI-ueSRCKL2B_gPSEV_Kkm3BfoNH0SmybW72IQpW64aDSQdRDGxv0m0TDnbAdFxpm2ZvEHstTw-UnX99g/s320/UriahFaber.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337669701662764322" /></a><br />I was up late one night, watching some random MMA fights on TV, when I spyed Uriah Faber (WEC Featherweight champ) rocking the 'white dudes with cornrows' look. Nice!<br /><br />It got me to thinking about other white dudes and their fabulous braided 'dos...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVn_-j9rVriN-fURwwjdk5CFvGlL8gx6LqJ8GZpGeBGjXc8KkVwJPnPwsT_7Zz0b7Ws_k0QOh6NJ-oH5RlwCi67QR6FE4hN_9jsJrsdR_0DtmkVkqxVeGHzcSztTIWWdhPfoE5/s1600-h/jaredleto.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 170px; height: 100px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVn_-j9rVriN-fURwwjdk5CFvGlL8gx6LqJ8GZpGeBGjXc8KkVwJPnPwsT_7Zz0b7Ws_k0QOh6NJ-oH5RlwCi67QR6FE4hN_9jsJrsdR_0DtmkVkqxVeGHzcSztTIWWdhPfoE5/s320/jaredleto.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337673384785118562" /></a>Who can forget Jared Leto as, Junior, the rich kid gone bad, in 'The Panic Room'? If I had written the script for 'The Panic Room,'...<br><br /><br />INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT<br />Junior paces the floor like a crazyass white dude wearing cornrows that are too tight. He turns around and sees Raoul glaring at him.<br /><br /><center>JUNIOR</center> <br /><blockquote>What the fuck are you lookin' at, Babyback Ribs? Don't you know that I'm a bad muthafucka?! I'm wearin' cornrows, see?!</blockquote><br /><br />Junior fiercely points to his cornrow bedecked noggin.<br /><br />Raoul's eyes narrow to a squint as he continues to glare at Junior. He takes out a surface to air bazooka and launches a missile directly at Junior's head. The missile connects with it's target and totally fucks up Juniors cornrows.<br /><br /><center>RAOUL</center><br /><blockquote>Nobody calls me Babyback Ribs and lives!</blockquote><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8C3gRNFVPCh6-inhRiLPmrdT50oxxy98e8IVol7p0HlsOxSOWe59sEflLh2QQPV3cUNHpXQ_7s88pFebID0rN_69k0_MUPnKmINHNTv9cXplYz0xwde-wt44huzzZ3gJpMxdX/s1600-h/jt.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 175px; height: 100px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8C3gRNFVPCh6-inhRiLPmrdT50oxxy98e8IVol7p0HlsOxSOWe59sEflLh2QQPV3cUNHpXQ_7s88pFebID0rN_69k0_MUPnKmINHNTv9cXplYz0xwde-wt44huzzZ3gJpMxdX/s320/jt.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337680606689624818" /></a><br />How about our favorite former 'Nsync rugrat, Justin "JT" Timberlake? Not only did he NOT bring the sexy back in this pic, Sexy actually got up and stormed off while yelling incoherent obscenities at JT and everybody else in the room.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibJKJHQrXK3ooHZGBB0A8kbWy1pTvxwNVtHCx5prpBMxWWA1iuf5ZoUgpx3NjaLTWytjC_C7kxzVq_PwiC351vy85S8sg73_iyv7SoHq_QQ762zTBthyphenhyphen_5dZGKxTOwVHOFIXIf/s1600-h/bradmillerrows.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 175px; height: 100px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibJKJHQrXK3ooHZGBB0A8kbWy1pTvxwNVtHCx5prpBMxWWA1iuf5ZoUgpx3NjaLTWytjC_C7kxzVq_PwiC351vy85S8sg73_iyv7SoHq_QQ762zTBthyphenhyphen_5dZGKxTOwVHOFIXIf/s320/bradmillerrows.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337682915541244354" /></a>This, however, is my favorite picture of a white dude wearing cornrows. It's a pic of Brad Miller (center for the Chicago Bulls) rocking this badass variation on the cornrow 'do. <br /><br />It looks as if Brad just gave up during the cornrowing process and decided to go with a half cornrow, half regular white dude 'do (while sporting a replica of the headband Bjorn Borg wore when he won his 17th Wimbledon title.). Impressive!<br /><br />So, the next time you encounter a white dude wearing cornrows, give 'em a high five or a pound. He's earned it!XanxiuZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749041066087821234noreply@blogger.com0