Even tho I do not possess you, I love you. You have many cool apps, some of them actually useful.
I laughed really hard when my friend dropped his in the pool. I was jealous, because I did not have one.
I continued to laugh as he cried over his water damaged Iphone, cause he kind of looks like an Asian chipmunk when he cries.
it occurred to me that chipmunks do not deserve Iphones and that's why the Iphone jumped into the pool.
Iphone, I will possess you, someday, sans that damn mandatory AT&T data plan. The end.

It really should be mandatory for anyone over the age of 60 to have to learn how to text message!


"No, old lady sitting next to me at the dentist's office, it is NOT OKAY for you to whip out your old ass cell phone and proceed to have 15 different conversations while you wait to have your gums scraped."

I really don't want to know that you just got a new belly button ring and it's "uncomfortable"!

She wasn't even using her inside voice, either!